Podge and Rodge

[Fagan]

dont know if you guys get Podge and Rodge over in the UK, its the same guys who did zig and zag but have now gone adult with their creations. some of the one liners are priceless:

 

I'm as sick as a small hospital

I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child

She had a face on her like a well slapped a*se

Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit

My mouth's as dry as a nun' s cr@ck

He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

As funny as a burning orphanage

He's so camp, he s****s tent pegs

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

I feel like a boiled sh*te (hung-over)

(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

As busy as the Dalkey dole office

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit

As tight as a nun's knickers

I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

Up and down like a hoor's knickers

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt

I left her with a face like a painter' s radio

A Mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard!!

Jays us, she could breastfeed a crè che

As fit as a butcher's dog

She ' s got more chins than a Chinese phone book

Not even the tide would take her out

Mother Teresa wouldn' t 't kiss her

Daz wouldn't shift her

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

A sniper wouldn't take her out

Jays us, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a nettle

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab

If I'd a garden full of Mickey' s (or strawberries eh Sprig ?)I wouldn't let her look over the wall

[Snookie]

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[Maldini]

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[Coyler]

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[RedHarvest]

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[Extraordinary Swindle]

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