Gray - YPC Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Monday 1st May08.00amWayne spends 45 minutes looking for his other sock. Luckily for Wayne, Sven Goran Eriksson, England, The Great British Public, and every football fan in the world, Coleen wakes up and advise Wayne that he's actually got his foot in a cast, and there is no matching sock. Monday 1st May08.45amWayne hobbles to the toilet for some "relaxation", with it waking a full 3 seconds less than the same trip yesterday. A collective sigh of relief is heard (and not from Wayne yet) as it shows he's well on his way to a full recovery with the procress he's making. Monday 1st May08.49amWayne suffers a set-back as he realises he's left a copy of "Reader's Wife's Grannies" behind, forcing him to put more pressure on his metatarsal as he clambers up the stairs to his 'collection'. Upon his return with the aforementioned magazine, a number of sighs are heard from the Rooney bathroom. Monday 1st May10.30amA photographer from Hello magazine appears to take exclusive pictures of the metatarsal. Following on from the exclusive pictures from the last World Cup, the photographer notes that Wayne's legs are a lot hairier than David Beckham's were, and recommmends David's of personal waxing assistant. Unfortunately for Wayne the waxer is currently with Frank Lampard and his chest, who's preparing for a photoshoot with the Spanish sister magazine "Ola". This results in a delay in the photos. Monday 1st May14.30pmHaving now got his exclusive photos of his foot taken for Hello, Wayne sets off to his specialist for an update. Unfortunately the delay caused by Frank having pre-booked the waxer means that Wayne was unable to have time to get his X-rays done. Using every inch of his initiative Wayne takes along a black and white version of the Hello pictures for the specialist, as he's already had one of "them camera things do the photees like". Keep listening for more minute by minute and steo by hobble updates on Wayne's foot... Wayne... your county needs you!
Bootle Buck Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 (edited) Rooney's foot as it will appear in the Tate Gallery Exhibit "Wayne's Right Foot" today. Nike are hurriedly trying to find a "swoosh" bone graft to be implanted. Edited May 1, 2006 by Bootle Buck
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