Fantastic Phrases

[Superjay]

Sweating like a nun in a field full of cucumbers

 

As mad as a box of frogs

 

Jaysis shes a set of milkers on her that would feed a mart

 

Ive a horn on me that would bait pavorriti away from a pizza

 

Ive a horn on me that would bait a donkey out of a quarry

 

Shes a face like a chewed toffee

 

Im so sick id nearly get into bed with me sister

 

That lad would drink tar from a Wellington boot

 

Im so hungry id ate a tinkers toenails

 

Im so hungry id eat a horse and chase the jockey

 

Shes a cu*nt like a wizards sleeve

 

Me mickeys so hard id club a whale

 

I'm as sick as a small hospital

 

I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child

 

She had a face on her like a well slapped a*se

 

Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit

 

My mouth's as dry as a nuns cr@ck

 

He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup

 

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

 

As funny as a burning orphanage

 

He's so camp, he s**** tent pegs

 

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

 

I feel like a boiled s****

 

I'm off like a debs dress

 

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

 

As busy as the dalkey dole office

 

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit

 

As tight as a nun's knickers

 

I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn

 

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

 

Up and down like a hoor's knickers

 

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house

 

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

 

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt

 

I left her with a face like a painters radio

 

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard

 

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche

 

As fit as a butcher's dog

 

She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book

 

Not even the tide would take her out

 

Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her

 

Daz wouldn't shift her

 

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

 

A sniper wouldn't take her out

 

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

 

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

 

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a nettle

 

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

 

She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab

 

If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall

 

Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.

[matty]

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