How the hell did we win today?

[johngibo YPC]

our only player got sent off.

 

Charlie Nicholas must be scratching his head

[stressederic]

Charlie Nicholas must be scratching his head

 

He's going to need a map, a compass and the Penguin Big Book of the Body to find it.

[Euphrates]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

In the morning of the Liverpool v Everton derby, Steven Gerrard goes into the Reds changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

 

"What's up?" he asks.

 

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Everton so we can't be bothered, we always beat them".

Stevie G looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

 

So Stevie goes out to play the Bluenose b******s by himself and the rest of the Liverpool team go off for a few beers. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Liverpool 3 - Everton 0 (Gerrard 4, 8 and 10 minutes)". He is beating the Toffees all by himself!

 

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on. "Result from Anfield Liverpool 3 (Gerrard 4, 8 and 10 minutes) - Everton 1 (Cahill 57 minutes)".

 

They can't believe it, he has single handedly beat them!! They rush back to Anfield to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft, you beat them, all by yourself. And they only scored towards the end!"

 

"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 17 minutes"

[Bootle Buck]

While we have Phil Neville we can beat anyone.

[Ripley]

bring on the ornamental strikers

That would be "ceremonial". Close but no candlestick.

 

KYSS

[Mike]

didn't i make it up?

[fyds]

That would be "ceremonial". Close but no candlestick.

 

KYSS

What he means is they're so feckin useless we could put on porcelain likenesses of Crouch and Morientes and still beat the twots.

[Guest Scot]

didn't i make it up?

 

Getting old, Michael.

[Mike]

Getting old, Michael.

 

something like that.

drunk i think. not used to it.