the sexual urge of men and women

[alucard]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says

"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.".

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words That every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet

when she doesn't even know how To play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,

"That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,

"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,

"No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT???!!!"

I then said,

"Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man

enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[matty]

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[Ostrich Man]

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