thought process - how many of these

SkippyjonJones · January 30, 2006

DEALING WITH IRRATIONAL PEOPLE: You are wrong because...

AMAZINGLY BAD ANALOGY: You can train a dog to fetch a stick.

Therefore, you can train a potato to dance.

FAULTY CAUSE AND EFFECT: On the basis of my observations,

wearing huge pants makes you fat.

I AM THE WORLD: I don't listen to country music. Therefore,

country music is not popular.

IGNORING EVERYTHING SCIENCE KNOWS ABOUT THE BRAIN: People

choose to be obese/gay/alcoholic because they prefer the

lifestyle.

THE FEW ARE THE SAME AS THE WHOLE: Some Elbonians are animal

rights activists. Some Elbonians were fur coats. Therefore,

all Elbonians are hypocrites.

GENERALIZING FROM SELF: I'm a liar. Therefore I don't

believe what you're saying.

TOTAL LOGICAL DISCONNECTION: I enjoy pasta because my

house is made of bricks.

ARGUMENT BY BIZARRE DEFINITION: He's not a criminal. He just

does things that are against the law.

ANYTHING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IS EASY TO DO: If you have

the right tools, how hard can it be to generate nuclear

fission at home.

IGNORANCE OF STATISTICS: I'm putting ALL of my money on

the lottery this week because the jackpot is so big.

IGNORING THE DOWNSIDE RISK: I know that bungee jumping

could kill me but it's 3 seconds of pure fun!

SUBSTITUTING FAMOUS QUOTES FOR COMMON SENSE: Remember

"all things come to those who wait." So don't bother

looking for a job.

IRRELEVANT COMPARISONS: $100 is a good price for a

toaster, compared to buying a Ferrari.

CIRCULAR REASONING: I'm correct because I'm smarter

than you. And I must be smarter than you because I'm

correct.

INCOMPLETENESS AS PROOF OF FACT Your theory of gravity

doesn't address the question of why there are no unicorns,

so it must be wrong.

IGNORING THE ADVICE OF EXPERTS WITHOUT GOOD REASON: Sure

the experts say you shouldn't ride a bicycle in the eye

of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.

FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF KNOWN IDIOTS: Uncle Horace says

eating pork makes you smarter. That's good enough for me.

REACHING BIZARRE CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ANY INFORMATION: My

car won't start. I'm certain the spark plugs have been

stolen by rogue clowns.

FAULTY PATTERN RECOGNITION: His last 6 wives were murdered

mysteriously. I hope to be wife #7.

FAILURE TO RECOGNISE WHAT'S IMPORTANT: My house is on fire!

Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!

OVERAPPLICATION OF OCCAM'S RAZOR: The simplest explanation

for the moon landings is that they were hoaxes.

INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME THINGS HAVE MULTIPLE CAUSES:

The Beatles were popular for one reason only: they were good

singers.

JUDGING THE WHOLE BY ONE OF IT'S CHARACTERISTICS: The sun

causes sunburns. Therefore the planet would be better off

without the sun.

BLINDING FLASHES OF THE OBVIOUS: If everyone had more

money, we could eliminate poverty.

BLAMING THE TOOL: I bought an encyclopedia but I'm

still stupid.

TAKING THINGS TO THEIR ILLOGICAL CONCLUSION: If you let

your barber cut your hair, they next thing you know he'll

be lopping your limbs off.

PROOF BY LACK OF EVIDENCE: I've never seen you drunk, so

you must be one of those Amish people.

surf · January 30, 2006