Technology addiction

Zoob · December 10, 2016

So, this may be a precursor to an unfortunate addition to the "getting divorced" thread, but wanted to get people's opinions / experience of something pretty specific, namely technology addiction.

I'm 100% convinced my wife has an actual addiction to her computer and phone. We have numerous issues in our marriage that means we probably won't last, and the amount of time she spends on her devices is just one of these.

It's not an exaggeration to say that once the kids are in bed (between 7 and 8pm) and her going to bed (between 10 and midnight) she spends literally every single minute with her laptop on her lap and often her phone in her hand too. Mostly she's on Facebook, and having simultaneous IM conversations with her sisters and friends. And no - she's not having an affair. I can count on one hand the amount of evenings in the last year when she hasn't had her computer on her lap all night.

She also spends a large proportion of her day on her phone (doing the same). When she gets in the car to go somewhere, before leaving, she spends a minute texting. She'll back the car out of the garage, then text some more before driving away. At traffic lights, she picks up her phone and uses it while the light is red. She takes it with her and uses it when she takes a bath, and it's rare for me to walk into a room in the house without seeing her hunched over typing into her phone.

Have spoken to her about my concerns, but her excuses are always lame - she doesn't have time to do stuff during the day, which is why she's on it all night. This is complete BS since when I used to work from home 2 days a week, she'd be on her devices whenever I went upstairs. Now, 2 of our kids are in school full time and the other is at pre school 2-3 days a week, so she has plenty of time. She's also said that she falls asleep in the evenings if she's not on her devices, which says a lot about my sparkling personality and ability to bore someone to sleep..

What she's tried to do is make out that her behavior is normal, but I really don't think it is. As I said, we have more than enough problems in our marriage but I think this is actually a genuine addiction as much as alcoholism... So I was wondering has anybody else experience this sort of frustration with a spouse who won't put their devices down, and has anybody had any success changing things?

jimbolala · December 10, 2016

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