I got married on Friday

ifanew · December 22, 2014

I've been a member on here for 10 years, I've even had the pleasure of meeting a few of you a few years ago in the Oakie when Spike had the auction for Steve. As you see I don't post much but I am a frequent visitor, particularly to the Genny, and have seen the comfort that this forum has bought many of its members during their troubled times. I never dreamt that I would be where I am now writing a post like this but who knows what hand life will throw you.

As title of this post tells you, I got married on Friday; however I'd like to tell you about what led to this event and what has happened since.

My wife (weird writing that) has suffered from arthritis for a few years; earlier this year after a rather big flare up she finally consented to see a specialist. She had been unwilling in the past as she has seen the effect that steroids and medication has had on her mother, who has suffered from arthritis for forty years. However, times change and the world of medicine develops and in February she was prescribed methotrexate which she took on a weekly basis. The medication was working well and all signs of inflammation were reducing. As some of you who know about this kind of treatment, patients have regular blood tests to check different levels to see if the drug is working and not having any adverse effects.

About 2-3 months ago the consultants noticed that the blood levels indicating liver function were rising, not to any concerning level but enough to warrant more regular blood tests to monitor it. Over the following weeks the levels slowly rose then stablised then rose slightly again and 5 weeks ago today she got a call from her consultant to tell her to stop taking the medication as the liver function had risen further. Over the next few days my wife started to feel ill and become very fatigued, she was in bed for 4 days and the following Monday I took her to see our GP, they weren't overly concerned at her condition as she had just come off a strong medication, but they did take a further blood sample. On the Wednesday our GP got in touch and she wanted to admit my wife to the hospital as her blood results had worsened. So I took her in on the Wednesday and they started on a long list of tests to see what was the root of the problem.

On The Thursday they disgnosed her with breast cancer, then after further tests and scand we were told on th Tuesday that she also had cancer of the liver and they started her on Chemotherapy straight away. We were told that the liver cancer was inoperable and that it would reduce her life, any more than that they couln't say. We were, as you can imagine, in shock and emotionally in bits but we vowed to keep positive and fight for as long as possible. She spent another week in hospital before she felt well enough to come home. She was still tired and weak from the condition and the chemo but we managed at home hoping things would gradually improve.

Last Wednesday night I could tell that she wasn't well and on th Thursday morning I had her admitted back in to the hospital; she had an UTI. They gave her fluids and antibiotics to treat that but the Doctors had other concerns. They asked to speak to me and told me that it didn't appear that the chemo was having an effect and that the cancer in the liver was aggresive; they said that they would continue to monitor her until today when they would decide on whether to continue with the treatment or not but that we should prepare for the worst.

So that is why on Friday evening after some amazing work by the vicar of the church my parents attend and the local registrars my partner of over 13 years became my wife. We had never felt the need to get married but we have 2 daughters, one 5 years old and a 3 year old, and we wanted to make sure legally speaking everything would be set for them should the worst come to the worst.

So the weekend passed and I have been able to stay with my beautiful wife. Then this morning the doctors came again and told us that my wife is dying and that her time left may be short and they want to make her as comfortable as possible. Today has passed with a steady stream of family and friends come to see her and more tears shed than I can remember. Her bravery in the face of it all has been amazing, I told her so and her reply was "I don't have much choice"

So here I am, sat in the seat which has been my bed for 4 nights next to my beatiful wife wondering how long she'll be with me and trying to find some strength for what is to come, especially explaining it all to our daughters. I hope you don't mind me sharing this, as writing it has been a positive experience, I also hope that it comes over as I want it too because the past few weeks has left me numb and my emotions all over the place.

Thank you

muleskinner · December 22, 2014

This post is not viewable to guests.

You can sign in to your account at the login page here