Footballers you'd like a pint with

[sutty]

No picking somebody just so you can internet warrior punch them in the face.

 

Basically, I'd go for a quiet pint with Joe Hart. I reckon it'd be sound. He'd have an autumnal ale or something. He seems like a good lad. But there is the Ballotelli factor in at City. It's a difficult decision.

 

Anyway...

 

Arsenal - Dunno. They all seem like f***ing dull c****. So I'm randomly picking Gervinho so that I can understand the hair situation. Reckon he's a vodka and tonic drinker

Aston Villa - this seemed like a good idea when I started but frankly, I couldn't give a f*** about Villa. Richard Dunne though, that's who I'm picking. For obvious reasons. He's on premium lager

Chelsea - Torres. Rioja. Head shaking. Recriminations. Lots of them.

 

More to follow, if I can be arsed.

[Chili Palmer]

Marseille - Joey Barton, Vodka and Red bull. We could play the 'who wants to be a millionaire?' game.

Edited September 19, 2012 by Chili Palmer

[cymrococh]

Everton - Mirallas, bottled lager, just to find out why.

Fulham - Dimitar Berbatov, red wine, existential discussion of the futility of the substitute.

[Ostrich Man]

 

Aston Villa - this seemed like a good idea when I started but frankly, I couldn't give a f*** about Villa. Richard Dunne though, that's who I'm picking. For obvious reasons. He's on premium lager

 

Alan Hutton - bottle of buckfast each and a crate split between us, in a graveyard, then go breaking windows afterwards....possibly get arrested.

[Bigal]

Sunderland - Steven Fletcher, a pint of taylors landlord, i think thats what he would like.

[sutty]

Everton - Mirallas, bottled lager, just to find out why.

Fulham - Dimitar Berbatov, red wine, existential discussion of the futility of the substitute.

 

The Ev is a missed opportunity. I'd have had a pint with Cahill, just to see if he existed. He's be drinking ambrosia, because I don't think he does. Of the current squad, I'm going Fellaini. It's a man love thing. We're on the absinthe. End game he's signing for the reds or the pics are getting out there

 

Fulham. I'm going with your recommendation. It'd have to be somewhere with a decent smoking area, obviously

 

The relegation of Bolton, Blackburn etc have totally decimated the early stages of the alphabet in the premier league

 

Liverpool - Sterling, Drinking diet coke in a fun factory pub. Cheap round. Mithering me to play the fruity though.

Man City - Hart. Good lad. Bitter appropriate to the season. In a low level boozer with an eclectic jukebox. Or Ballotelli drinking straight vodka in that bar made of ice in scandanavia.

[Rimbeux]

Footballers are pretty dull in general, but here goes

 

Arsenal, the manager

Villa, the manager

Chelsea, the manager

Everton, Felani

Fulham, Bebatov

Liverpool, Agger

City, Kompany

MU, ferguson

Newcastle, lambias

Norwich, delia

QPR, is Ainsworth still around?

Reading, meh

Soton, see above

Stoke, Pulis

Sunderland, Manager

Spurs, Parker

West Brom, Long

west Ham, Nolan

Wigan, Roberto

 

Release this involved cheating

[sutty]

That's only 8 players, one of which is Gareth Ainsworth who is at Wycombe

 

You're rubbish Rimbeux

 

You've gone for a pint with Delia Smith ahead of Wes Hoolihan, who you'd go for a pint with just for the name,

[Knoxy]

City - Nasri. He'd want to drink wine but I'd keep buying him premium lager just for a laugh. I reckon he'd have a right moan about it then be sick on himself

[cymrococh]

Liverpool - Sterling, Drinking diet coke in a fun factory pub. Cheap round. Mithering me to play the fruity though.

Just pressing random buttons on the quiz machine.

Ballotelli drinking straight vodka in that bar made of ice in scandanavia.

in your pants

[Rimbeux]

That's only 8 players, one of which is Gareth Ainsworth who is at Wycombe

 

You're rubbish Rimbeux

 

You've gone for a pint with Delia Smith ahead of Wes Hoolihan, who you'd go for a pint with just for the name,

 

I know, just faced with the dull or the dull with a pretend bad attitude and haircut, it's a struggle. Not being Rock and Roll raconteur myself, I need the pint sharer to make the going

[Cobs]

Stephen Ireland - pitchers of the most ridiculous cocktails known to mankind

[cymrococh]

Man United - De Gea, shots in a student pub, we'd all laugh when he drops a glass.

 

Man City - James Milner, 2 litre bottle of white cider in a park

Edited September 19, 2012 by cymrococh

[sutty]

Man United - I'm going for a pint with Ferguson. I'm going to break my own rules. We're drinking heavy whatever the f*** that is, because he's scottish. We're talking about football.

 

Newcastle - Cabaye. I reckon he's a bit of snide though. Lager on his round, expensive red on mine.

 

f***ing b******s, just realised that I've got out with Hart & Ballotelli at city and f***ed Kompany off.

[drdooom]

Stoke - Michael Owen. He'd probably drink water and spend the whole time talking about himself.

[Cobs]

David Luiz - we're watching Withnail & I and playing the associated drinking game. He keeps on saying 'Monty, you terrible c*nt' finds it hilarious.

[Bigal]

United, I would have a pint with Fletcher, he could get me a pint on his way back from the bog

[sutty]

David Luiz - we're watching Withnail & I and playing the associated drinking game. He keeps on saying 'Monty, you terrible c*nt' finds it hilarious.

 

That's a good chelsea shout. I struggled with them and ended up with a moody pint with Torres.

Edited September 19, 2012 by sutty

[Knox_Harrington]

I'd enjoy a moody pint with Torres.

 

I'd go to Shipping Forecast with Kev Nolan. We'd have murder getting in and then we'd have a dead angry pint about it. That'd be boss.

 

Odemwingie at West Brom. We'd f***ing slaughter The Hodge. I'd get Niemayer and Ben Jono out, we'd do The Hodge Files and drink the bar dry.

 

That's the greatest night of my life. In the naughty corner in The Attic.

[Bigal]

I would love a pint with David Wheater at Bolton. Be boss that. He would get leathered, he would want some Smokie on the jukie, and then kick off at someone for looking at his bird, and then when they say "they weren't" he will ask "why not, she is f***ing fit"

[Knox_Harrington]

Belter that, Al.

 

Historical Wigan Shout - De Zeeuw. I'd remember very little but a moment of clarity where I'm shirtless with a shot glass and a lot of people shouting at me.

 

EDIT: I'm in The Jacaranda. Now closed so definitely historical.

Edited September 19, 2012 by Knox_Harrington

[sutty]

Belter that, Al.

 

Historical Wigan Shout - De Zeeuw. I'd remember very little but a moment of clarity where I'm shirtless with a shot glass and a lot of people shouting at me.

 

EDIT: I'm in The Jacaranda. Now closed so definitely historical.

 

 

ha ha!

 

Norwich - f*** knows. I'm going for somebody with a daft name for want of anything else. Snodgrass or Hoolihan. Country pub, guinness, the whole thing has a feeling of an extra marital affair because I'm embarrassed to be seen with them.

[Sir Tokyo Sexwale]

I'd go for a pint with Luiz (Chelsea) and Fellani (Ev) at the same time, f***ing hair bear bunch

[sutty]

QPR - Djibs. The lord of the manor of Frodsham. Jagerbombs in the Shepherds Bush walkabout. There's a s**** band on playing covers. Djibs is dancing with his shirt off.

[cymrococh]

Reading - Hal Robson-Kanu, a bottle of Jacob's Creek in Frankie and Benny's Bracknell, we discuss the hypothetical MMA bout implied by his surname.