Screaming Football

[DecidedByPoll]

Not sure if self promotion is in keeping with the general tone of ynwa, but I'm looking for some feed back on a blog what I wrote. I know there are millions out there but I think the world can cope with one more.

 

I obviously need to play with the formatting, and the punctuation need a bit of work still, but I wanted to get it out there and ask a bunch of people who can give honest feedback and whose opinions on a range of issues I've (awkward shuffle) come to respect.

 

My link

Edited September 5, 2011 by Danny Murphy

[Kahnee]

Not sure if self promotion is in keeping with the general tone of ynwa

 

My link

 

It's not. We're all a bunch of wallflowers...

 

Feedback will, by it's nature, be personal, so with that caveat:

 

The background is too busy. It makes scrolling down quite dizzying and you lose focus on the writing

Swear less and use less toilet references. It adds nothing to the points you make, and in some cases actually detracts (and this is from someone whose sentences would shorten by 75% if I swore less)

Make sure you're actually making some kind of insight or clear comment to make. Simply saying you hate John Terry isn't really it - maybe spin that sort of thing around to ask why people laud him so much?

 

As you say, there are already a gazillion blogs out there, the trick is to make yours stand out (the piece on Harry Redknapp is a case in point. Well written, a clear message, balanced and written without vitriol)

 

HTH, as we used to say around here