If I was homeless ....

Case · March 1, 2011

.... I'd go on the web, invent an IT Management job I'm good at and register myself on Linkedin or EContact or whatever.... I'd also create a plausible history and write MYSELF a glowing testimonial saying how brilliant I am. - Cost £1 for 90 minutes in an internet cafe.

Now and again, I'd check the website to see how many fecking' 'events' I've been invited to by IT PA's/Marketeers/Corporate drones .. There would be loads. - Cost £1 for a few minutes checking the net over the course of a few weeks....

For £2, I'd buy a book called 'The Idiot's Guide to being an IT Director' and learn some key phrases about strategic 'handjob cloud thinking', 'nu-mobile' and 'How to grow money out of an IT backside'

With the remaining £6, I'd get a decent haircut and clean what threads I own - and I'd turn up at a couple of these events every week - because there are loads of them. And EVERYONE speaks bullsh1t at them.

At these events there would be copious amounts of food to eat and steal, and 'goody' bags of stuff to sell for a few bob here and there. Afterwards, there would be free drinks bought by the corporate bulls****ers. By staying late and smiling a bit, I might even be able to pick up a drunk bird for the night.

If I was homeless and had a tenner, this is what I'd do.

But I'm NOT homeless, thankfully, so why don't these Marketing buggers just feck off and leave me alone?

Sion · March 1, 2011

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