The Prequel t Fyds is a B*stard

New York Red · January 9, 2011

I can't believe I've never told this story before, but it is about time it is told.

The meeting with Fyds was a long time coming, gave us a few laughs, and ultimately was a great dinner where I got to meet Fyd's lovely wife and daughter. The whole thing was shrouded in tales of evasion and cannibalism, but the truth is there was a real chance of that a few years back.

About five years ago I was in San Diego for a conference. I've always got on well with Crazy Horse, so we decided to meet for a few beers. So I headed over to where CH lived in the beach area north of San Diego. The taxi gets me and it is about a fifteen minute drive. The driver seemed pretty friendly and after a few minutes says "Hey you aren't from here, where are you from?".

I explained I was from Cardiff originally, but lived in New York. The bloke asks me if I was in New York on 9/11 and saw all of that, and I said that I was. So, he starts talking about all of the secret stories of conspiracies etc and that is was the biggest story in history. He was a Mexican guy but he told methat he had learned all of this from a good friend of his who he really looks up to and who is from "back East". During the ride my opinion of this bloke went from him being amusing to being deeply disturbed.

I get to the bar, and he gives me his card and says I should call him if I need a ride back to my hotel. I said I would, but I really had no intention of calling because he was so f*cking weird.

So I meet Crazy Horse, and we have a great night. We don;t just have a few pints, we got absolutely bladdered. I lost all of my materials from the conference (CH actually came to my hotel and took me back there to dumpster-dive and retrieve all of my stuff -- he's a total star). But anyway, we call it a night and for some reason I space out and call this taxi driver to come and get me to bring me back to the hotel.

Me and Andrew are having a laugh in front of the bar when the taxi pulls up. But this time the driver has company. There is a bloke sitting in the front seat with him. So what do I do? I'm ten pints of Guinness deep and these blokes are waiting for me to get in the car. So I do. The bloke was the taxi drivers mate who was clearly mentally ill, a conspiracy theorist, and idolized by the taxi driver. My eyes were like saucers. The driver tells him all about me and he tells me that his mate is the smartest man in the world. Clearly I was going to end up in pieces in the Pacific Ocean after a long session of sexual abvuse and mutilation. The bloke starts talking to me about all of the 9/11 theories, and asking what I had seen. I'm ready to jump out of the taxi at high speed at any moment.

He whips out these DVD's that he had made. Insisted on me takling two of them. I tried to give him $20 for them but he inststed on giving them to me, free. I hung on until I got to my hotel and got the f*ck out of there.

Fyds didn't scare me at all. the maniacs from San Diego definitely did.

boohog · January 9, 2011