Ryan 'Twitter' Babel

[Kahnee]

Whether it's keeping tabs on Stephen Fry or helping us to give Big Website readers the misleading impression that we care about what they think by publishing their views, Twitter has many important functions. Last night the new-fangled microblogging website demonstrated its usefulness as a resource for discovering just how dunderheaded professional sportsmen can be in 140 characters or less, when Liverpool winger Ryan Babel delivered a shout out for assistance in his bid to watch his own side play Rabotnicki in Big Vase third round qualifying. Yes, Big Vase third round qualifying. It's really come to this.

 

Excused from playing in the wake of his heroic bench-warming endeavours for Holland during the World Cup, Babel was having trouble locating a match of such monumental importance it was only being broadcast pay-per-view on some channel neighbouring the dead-eyed telephone receptionists who forgot to get dressed on Sky's 0800 late-night bongo zone.

 

"Wat channel is LFC?" enquired Babel of his 48,938 adherents, before being advised that the match was not being broadcast on his club's website and sent to watch it on a dodgy foreign web feed. Cue more panic: "Is it working for you guys?" he enquired. Then, the realisation: "So we just have to wait?" Later, with Liverpool's heroic 2-0 win under way, there came another realisation, accompanied by the loud whistle and clang of a penny dropping: "I thought [Milan] Jovanovic was a striker?" tweeted Babel, as it dawned on him that Liverpool's new acquisition from Serbia plays in the very position the young Dutchman was planning on making his own.

 

Showing the kind of enthusiasm that would have precluded his team from having to bother finding a replacement for him had he demonstrated it last season, Babel tweeted once again shortly afterwards revealing his plans for returning to training earlier than expected: "Well.. i suppose to report on monday.. but i'm going 2mw.. We got Arsenal first game isnt it.. so ..." As we write a day later, news of Jovanovic being knacked in a tragic training-ground accident involving one of his team-mates had yet to break.

 

By being allowed to absent himself from last night's match in Macedonia, Babel also missed out on some good old-fashioned abuse from Rabotnicki fans, who showcased the quaint wit for which many eastern European fans remain admired around the world by directing monkey taunts at black Liverpool Davids, Ngog and Amoo. "We are aware of the matter but we are waiting for the reports from the delegate and the referee," said a Uefa spokesman after the game. Going on past form from European football's governing body in the fight against this kind of nonsense, Rabotnicki will be terrified by the prospect of shipping a fine of anything up to £3.50.

[Des]

Kahnee, there is no way you could have missed the other thread.

[Kahnee]

Kahnee, there is no way you could have missed the other thread.

 

Somehow I did

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

I hate The Fiver.

[Stanley Leisure]

I hate The Fiver.

 

Me too.

 

Smug, sneering c*nts and I write that from the perspective of a smug, sneering c*nt.