A letter to England

[libero]

Dear England,

 

I've decided who I'm going to support in the World Cup Finals. I'm letting you know because, from past experience, I have every reason to believe you'll be asking me. Repeatedly. So, to spare us both that embarrassing moment as you pause and wonder whether I'll comply with your nation's expectation of an ego massage, I'll cut out the expectation bit.

 

Now I know that as I write this, your press is poised for its biannual ritual of pouring scorn on us for defining our national identity in negative terms; as anti-English, rather than as Scottish. But there's a reason why this isn't true. This is a sport. It is not the definitive expression of national identity. Of course, as an international competition, sport and national identity become related - in that it is the latter which pre-determines which team you support. However, it also determines, in equal measure, that you don't support any of the rest in any particularly meaningful way.

 

That said, one may choose to “support” another country for the duration of the World Cup Finals if one's own country hasn't qualified. This may be for reasons ranging from having a great grandparent who was born in another country, a favourite holiday destination or an admiration for a diminutive midfielder's ability to score a goal with his hand and get away with it. All nominally legitimate. But it shouldn't be for anything as trivial as an individual's perceived imperative to comply with political allegiances imposed on that individual's country.

 

Now, if you would leave it as a sport, there might be a better chance we would choose you. But you won't. While your current affairs programmes insist on asking Scottish guests who don't give a stuff about football whether they will be supporting England in the World Cup, you've taken the sport out of the equation and asked them to make a statement on the health of the union (or, more accurately, to admit your dominance in that union). And while your current affairs programmes insist on asking Scottish guests who do have a passion for football whether they will be supporting England in the World Cup, you're expecting them to ignore the oldest international rivalry in the history of the sport in order to make a statement on the health of the union (or, more accurately, to admit your dominance in that union). Ask us if you must. Give yourselves a pat on the back when you get the answer you were looking for. When you don't, you should have a think about how self-obsessed and insecure you had to be to pose the question in the first place.

 

We were in the World Cup. We got knocked out. We can live with that. There's another one starting in a little over two years time. For now, there are 32 teams left in this one and, crucially, we don't have to suffer watching and listening to every trivial detail of the build up to the finals for 31 of them being presented as if it was newsworthy to us. But, with increasing regularity, we'll be inundated with updates from Johannesburg informing of how “our” country is getting on - complete with hundreds of repeats of “our” goals, the harsh sending off of “our” defender, “our” prospects in the next match, unconfirmed reports that one of “our” players farted at a pre-match lunch... didn't excuse himself and the resultant speculation about what action “our” manager might take to rebuild team spirit in the aftermath of the incident.

 

Nevertheless, in a typically Scottish spirit of international concordance we wish you safe travels to South Africa. And add, with the utmost sincerity, “Haste ye back”.

 

Yes, I've decided who I'm supporting in the World Cup Finals and, for the avoidance of doubt, it's not you.

 

 

(NICKED FROM FACEBOOK )

[Sion]

Everton-esque small time that. Scottish people take some sort of strange pleasure in thinking English people care what they think, when they don't.

 

And that is coming from someone who is English but doesn't care for the national team.

[libero]

Everton-esque small time that. Scottish people take some sort of strange pleasure in thinking English people care what they think, when they don't.

 

And that is coming from someone who is English but doesn't care for the national team.

Cast your mind back 2 years to the Euros when Andy Murray got battered in the press after getting asked who he would be supporting and didnt say England.

Its not the team we have any great problem with its the feckin media.

[domlfc]

Cast your mind back 2 years to the Euros when Andy Murray got battered in the press after getting asked who he would be supporting and didnt say England.

Its not the team we have any great problem with its the feckin media.

Andy Murray, are you serious or what? Do you not remember his really begrudging thanks to all that supported him at Wimbledon one almost dark night against Richard Gasquet? He is a bad tempered jumped up t***, he deserved everything that was thrown at him . I take great pleasure watching him get knocked out of tournaments, especially Wimbledon.

[Billy Dane]

Don't see why the Scots, Welsh or Irish should support England. The BBC are the national channel for England, Scotland, N Ireland and Wales but blather on about all things English all the time. London is the centre of the universe dontchaknow.

[John am Rhein]

Everton-esque small time that. Scottish people take some sort of strange pleasure in thinking English people care what they think, when they don't.

 

I've met numerous english in various places who complain bitterly that they support Scotland/Wales/Northern Ireland (even Ireland!) when the're playing so people from those countries should support England when the're playing

[libero]

I've met numerous english in various places who complain bitterly that they support Scotland/Wales/Northern Ireland (even Ireland!) when the're playing so people from those countries should support England when the're playing

Exzackerly.

 

Its tosh.

[Flight]

Don't see why the Scots, Welsh or Irish should support England.

 

 

Spot on.

 

Just wish all the Jocks would f*** off from commentating on our Prem games, beginning with Andy Grey. Happy to take the English f***ing shilling when it suits them.

[D.Boon]

I thought it was more to do with Scotland being s***?

[John am Rhein]

Spot on.

 

Just wish all the Jocks would f*** off from commentating on our Prem games, beginning with Andy Grey. Happy to take the English f***ing shilling when it suits them.

 

Andy Gray's the sort of b*stard who DOES support England

[Stevie H]

Andy Gray's the sort of b*stard who DOES support England

heard andy gray refer to england as 'us'. alan green does that as well. berks.

[johngibo YPC]

Andy Murray, are you serious or what? Do you not remember his really begrudging thanks to all that supported him at Wimbledon one almost dark night against Richard Gasquet? He is a bad tempered jumped up t***, he deserved everything that was thrown at him . I take great pleasure watching him get knocked out of tournaments, especially Wimbledon.

 

So you don't like Andy Murray. Fine. He can still support which ever football team he wants. And he was stitched up anyway

Bless them people for staying to watch until the 'almost dark' though. I go and watch Liverpool in the dark sometimes. I don't expect a f***ing medal

[Jarg Armani]

Bless them people for staying to watch until the 'almost dark' though. I go and watch Liverpool in the dark sometimes. I don't expect a f***ing medal

 

The Almost Dark is a different kettle of fish. It's a brave soul who watches sport in The Almost Dark.

[johngibo YPC]

The Almost Dark is a different kettle of fish. It's a brave soul who watches sport in The Almost Dark.

 

True. I shouldn't have doubted their commitment to Andy Murray

I mean they support him for almost 2 weeks every year!

 

I'll defo make sure i get home from work before The Almost Dark tonight

[Hassony]

True. I shouldn't have doubted their commitment to Andy Murray

I mean they support him for almost 2 weeks every year!

 

 

I wonder if he'll get the same support if he was playing away to Burnley on a cold wet night in December

[matty]

I've met numerous english in various places who complain bitterly that they support Scotland/Wales/Northern Ireland (even Ireland!) when the're playing so people from those countries should support England when the're playing

Really? I've never met anyone who thinks that.

 

I've met loads of English people who couldn't give a toss about whether the Scots, Welsh and Irish support England, but who will happily support them when they're playing. In short, we're used to celtic bitterness.

[fyds]

I've met loads of English people who couldn't give a toss about whether the Scots, Welsh and Irish support England, but who will happily support them when they're playing. In short, we're used to celtic bitterness.

True that - I'm often one of them, though I haven't really cared about how England do for many years.

[Ostrich Man]

Spot on.

 

Just wish all the Jocks would f*** off from commentating on our Prem games, beginning with Andy Grey. Happy to take the English f***ing shilling when it suits them.

yeah get that c*** hansen off MOTD.

[Des]

Really? I've never met anyone who thinks that.

 

I've met loads of English people who couldn't give a toss about whether the Scots, Welsh and Irish support England, but who will happily support them when they're playing. In short, we're used to celtic bitterness.

 

The number of times I've heard tossers bleating "but we support you, why don't you support us?" with a frighteningly tedious sense of entitlement, is huge.

 

Come on Spain.

[Cobs]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/may/27/craig-levein-england-world-cup

[D.Boon]

The number of times I've heard tossers bleating "but we support you, why don't you support us?"

 

Difficult one this as i so rarely have the chance to test this theory at a tournament.

Edited May 28, 2010 by D.Boon

[johngibo YPC]

"The Tartan Army don't wish any ill will on England, we just hope they lose every game. I suppose you could say we have a passionate indifference towards them."

 

That makes no sense

[Cobs]

"The Tartan Army don't wish any ill will on England, we just hope they lose every game. I suppose you could say we have a passionate indifference towards them."

 

That makes no sense

 

 

bitter tvvats - what do you expect?

[matty]

The number of times I've heard tossers bleating "but we support you, why don't you support us?" with a frighteningly tedious sense of entitlement, is huge.

 

Come on Spain.

I've never heard anyone say that. You must mix with some oddballs.

 

I think there's actually a lot of bitterness, because English people are massively indifferent to the fortunes of Scotland, Ireland and Wales, and sport involving Germany, France, Australia, mean much more to us. It must be confusing for you.

[muleskinner]

The number of times I've heard tossers bleating "but we support you, why don't you support us?" with a frighteningly tedious sense of entitlement, is huge.

 

Come on Spain.

 

I've heard more English people say they hope that the other 'home' nations get beat than the scenario you describe.

Edited May 28, 2010 by muleskinner