On the road with....

[Sir Tokyo Sexwale]

Rock and f***ing ROLL

 

The Dirt, the story of Mötley Crüe's descent into druggy, boozy mania might be packed with stories of death, orgies with porn stars and car crashes, while Led Zep chronicle Hammer Of The Gods has underage groupie sex, backstage assaults and guitarists dressed as Nazis. But next up in the canon of tell-all rock tour memoirs is guitar tech Matt McGinn's Roadie: My Life On The Road With Coldplay with its tales of cheese butties, meeting Gwyneth, and telling Jay-Z move out of the way. Rescued from the Observer New Review's charity shop pile (shame on you, New Review!), here are some of its other highlights ...

On Rock Debauchery

 

"Coldplay crew members, like the band themselves, don't just wheel out the bloody Horlicks and the board games post-show; we all like a good knees-up with a pint and a pie after work, same as anyone else."

On Inventive Nicknames

 

"All Jon [buckland]'s guitars have names ending in "y" – Blacky, Sunny, Browny etc". This is followed by a three-page list of different guitar pedals and units.

On Meeting The Stars

 

" ... Another time I held the door open for Paul Weller at the BBC when I was doing Jools Holland's Later show with Kenickie."

On Live 8

 

"I'm not getting into the politics ... frankly you'd do better to listen to some other people, like maybe Bob Geldof. Say what you like, this is a man who deserves respect."

On Snow Patrol

 

"I didn't even like them that much until they showed up and politely knocked us sideways with their niceness and generally relaxed, professional attitude."

On Seeing America

 

"Chicago is an amazing town. It's right on a massive lake for a start."

On Disastrous Errors

 

"Not content with handing Jonny a wrongly tuned guitar for his performance of Clocks, I later managed to drop a blob of superglue into one of its vital moving parts. Nice work, roadie!"

On Glastonbury 2002

 

"I do remember some daft things about the aftermath, like my triumphant post-show cheese, pickle and crisp sarnie."

On The Roadie's Plight

 

"In his otherwise sharp and funny personal memoir Cider With Roadies, ex NME-hack, writer and broadcaster Stuart Maconie arguably does his book's fantastic title a disservice by hardly talking about roadies at all."

On Fame

 

"Imagine my excitement – after years of adoring Ash from afar – of being asked to stand in on guitar for their leader at a soundcheck."

On Drummers' Names

 

"Will Champion, eh? What a great name."

On Dishing The Dirt

 

"Other stars can be a big disappointment, and almost put you off their terrific music just by being t***s ... but we'll name no names here."

 

Continues for 240 pages

 

Roadie: My Life On The Road With Coldplay (Portico) is out 17 May

[stressederic]

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[fyds]

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[drdooom]

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[Nathan Explosion]

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