The worst voice in music?

Sir Tokyo Sexwale · April 10, 2010

The argument over the greatest singer in music history will surely rage until the end of time. Some say Frank Sinatra, some Aretha Franklin, some Elvis Presley. Others would plump for John Lennon, Freddie Mercury or Stevie Wonder.

Well, our congratulations go to all of them. Because we're far more interested in music's worst singers, the girls and boys in rock and pop who couldn't hit a high note if you gave them a loaded cannon and lit a match.

Our shortlist below follows the leak of a horrific recent Jennifer Lopez recording session, and includes all the recorded evidence necessary to expose some of music's biggests stars. So take a bow one and all and put down that microphone...

10 Jennifer Lopez

J. Lo was reportedly dropped by her label, Sony, earlier this year. But bosses at Island Def Jam, her new record company, might wish they'd heard her taking a running jump at Barbara Streisand's ‘No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)' before inking that deal.

09 Liam Gallagher

Is this Liam onstage in the last days of Oasis or is it one of the Kray twins about to go to work? Gallagher Jr. may have had rock's greatest voice in the ‘90s but where's he hiding it now? Whichever way you look at it, there was blood on the Roundhouse floor after this 2008 display.

08 Kanye West

Unlike 50 Cent, Kanye can rap. But sing? This disastrous take on ‘Love Lockdown' from ‘SNL' in 2008 suggested that if Beyonce had the greatest video of all-time, Kanye had one of the worst voices.

07 Shaun Ryder

Make no mistake, the Happy Mondays' were one of the greatest bands of the Madchester era, fronted by perhaps the period's finest lyricists. But rock'n'roll can be very bad for your head and even worse for your voice.

06 Amy Winehouse

Here’s Amy in the days after she gave up being a pop star and set upon a life as a brilliantly smashed street drinker who thought going onstage was all but a silly dream. When she’s not forgetting the words, she’s swearing. The rest of the time, an audition for Best Club Singer seems to be at stake rather than a MOBO.

05 Ashlee Simpson

Having a sister with no discernable ability should not be a bar to the celebrity life. Clearly this is the thinking of Ashlee Simpson, whose ‘singing' career included an infamous miming controversy on US TV and this appalling effort at the Orange Bowl in 2005. Surely the people booing are more deserving of a record contract?

04 Ian Brown

He doesn't sing so much as honk. Brown may once have had the voice of an angel but these days he sounds more like the devil's dustman. On a nightly basis across the UK, Ian can be found reinterpreting Stone Roses classics. Or "murdering" them, as the camera man of this clip puts it.

03 Britney Spears

Few singers have taken as much abuse over their live vocals as poor old Britney. But then again, few singers have managed to get through almost their entire career without actually singing. Could this be the reason why?

02 Jedward

The Grimes twins are so 21st century that fans don't even care that they can't sing. Fame is the least those two deserve! In fact, with hair and suits like this, no wonder the British public would rather listen to them ‘covering' Robbie Williams than the real thing.

01 Jordan

Is she a model? Is she an author? Is she a TV celebrity? Is she a reality star? Is she the nation's most famous mother? Is she Peter Andre's ex wife? Is she Alex Reid's new wife? Or is she simply the worst singer the world has ever seen? You decide...

I actually think Sinatra's very flat & bland, and at the other end of the scale, Ryder, while not a good singer by any means has consistency, so he doesn't sound nearly as bad as he is.

I haven't embedded the 10 clips, go to the link for those

smithdown · April 10, 2010

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