right, enough with the depression

[Gunga Din]

funny things that happened at football matches you have been to, either on or off the park, involving players, yourself or your mates

 

 

I once saw Gray YPC fall down a manhole outside St Andrews

 

I managed to get locked in a toilet in a pub in middlesbrough after the door handle came off in my hand. i had to phone Jonesy to kick the door through as it opened inwards.

 

Jonesy once turned off at Birmingham because he thought we had arrived in London

[stressederic]

I got tickets to Blackburn away in 2002/03 but had to pretend I was working with my mum's boss (we got on well and he was a big red) and have a tour around another company's envelope factory which lasted for about 4 f***ing hours.

 

David Dunn scored after about 5 minutes of the match and at that point the bloke next to me chose that particular moment to ask me out of all the various envelopes i'd seen which had been my favourite. He wasn't joking either.

Edited December 10, 2009 by stressederic

[Jarg Armani]

About 15 of us fell over in a heap outside an icy maine road before our 3rd round FA cup game there when murphy scored the winner.

 

It was like domino rally.

[matty]

I once went to an executive box at Anfield with my brother who had been invited on business. I got really smashed and was taking the piss out of some bloke's tache who was sat near the box. Then I looked round and remembered that the bloke who had booked the box had a massive tache too.

[MarkD]

The 'Graeme Sharp Wondergoal' derby - (my brother - a blue). Sat in lower Kemlyn, hungover as bad as possible, game going on but my head was spinning etc. Stood up to go to the bog to throw up and the ball t****** me in the side of the head, knocing me over and into the row behind. I threw up over the guy that caught me. Left quickly, missing most of the game and with concussion.

[magic melia]

During the Warm up against Wigan Bellamy,s shot went wide of the goal and knocked my lad out

Edited December 10, 2009 by magic melia

[Knox_Harrington]

Played quasar with a gang of ten year olds on the way to Neil Mellor's winner against City in the FA Cup. Four of us, twelve Manc kids we'd never met. One of our number was brilliant. Won it by miles. Another came second. I came fourth. One of our number came stone dead last. I found him at one point in a corner surrounded by about eight just shooting him again and again.

Edited December 10, 2009 by Knox_Harrington

[Leo No.8]

Some bloke who looked remarkably like Fred West attacked me after we beat Villa 3-0 in the cup semi final at Old Trafford.

 

There were a couple of Villa fans on the other side of the road, we were walking along happily enjoying our win but weren't doing any goading or anything and they started shouting 'scouse tw*ts' or something across the road.

 

I turned round and held up 3-0 with my fingers, next thing Fred West in a Villa shirt comes from nowhere and has hold of me by the jacket, shouting and bathing my face in his f*cking horrible dog breath.

 

I told him to f*ck off and let go of me before we really fall out and he did. Not so tough without Rose backing him up.

[matty]

  Knox_Harrington said:

Played quasar with a gang of ten year olds on the way to Neil Mellor's winner against City in the FA Cup. Four of us, twelve of them. One of our number was brilliant. Won it by miles. Another came second. I came fourth. One of our number came stone dead last. I found him at one point in a corner surrounded by about eight just shooting him again and again.

 

This post brought to you by www.boylove.ru

[Mike]

  MarkD said:

The 'Graeme Sharp Wondergoal' derby - (my brother - a blue). Sat in lower Kemlyn, hungover as bad as possible, game going on but my head was spinning etc. Stood up to go to the bog to throw up and the ball t****** me in the side of the head, knocing me over and into the row behind. I threw up over the guy that caught me. Left quickly, missing most of the game and with concussion.

 

 

hahaha that's fantastic. no one is going to beat that.

[Davvo]

Heskey's 2nd against Roma, everyone goes mental. I collapse in a heap beneath the jumping masses, and my mates assume my screaming and odd position are down to some bizarre and ecstatic celebration. Infact the exuberant leap tore my patellar tendon, and I was screaming in agony.

 

Not at all funny on reflection, at least not to me, although everyone else found it amusing to see me try and find a comfy position to see out the last 20 minutes or so. Longest 20 minutes of my life that, and not just because of the score, couldn't even twirl me feckin scarf

[stressederic]

I was at a Brighton match years ago sat off to the left hand side of the goal. Someone had a shot that was really travelling but going wide. It looked like it was going to hit me in the face all the way until I managed to Matrix out of its path at the last minute. I was just standing up afterwards preparing to collect the high 5s of my friends when I realised that me moving out of the way had meant the ball had cleaned out the nun sat behind me.

[Davvo]

  MarkD said:

The 'Graeme Sharp Wondergoal' derby - (my brother - a blue). Sat in lower Kemlyn, hungover as bad as possible, game going on but my head was spinning etc. Stood up to go to the bog to throw up and the ball t****** me in the side of the head, knocing me over and into the row behind. I threw up over the guy that caught me. Left quickly, missing most of the game and with concussion.

[Gunga Din]

during a warm up a few years ago, Riise managed to pick the same person in the crowd out with 2 successive wayward shots. we were sat in 106

[stressederic]

  Gunga Din said:

during a warm up a few years ago, Riise managed to pick the same person in the crowd out with 2 successive wayward shots. we were sat in 106

 

Was that person Craig Bellamy?

[Coyler]

  magic melia said:

During the Warm up against Wigan Bellamy,s shot went wide of the goal and knocked my lad out

Don't normally do the "I originally read that as..." schtick, but on first reading I did actually understand "lad" to refer here to your penis.

 

  Mike said:

hahaha that's fantastic. no one is going to beat that.

Magnificent. Annoying, though, as my best story involves vomit and the ball leaving the field of play as well

[Mike]

gary macs pen against barca in the uefa semi. me and my mate liam fell all the way down the steps behind the goal you can see us clear as day on the telly.

[Gunga Din]

  Mike said:

gary macs pen against barca in the uefa semi. me and my mate liam fell all the way down the steps behind the goal you can see us clear as day on the telly.

 

i got sacked from a job for going to that game. i phoned in sick and ended up on the telly about half a dozen times

[Cobs]

[Gray - YPC]

  Gunga Din said:

I once saw Gray YPC fall down a manhole outside St Andrews

???????????????

 

Eh?? Are you sure? I have no recollection of this!

 

(I remember the bog incident though)

Edited December 10, 2009 by Gray - YPC

[Gunga Din]

  Gray - YPC said:

???????????????

 

Eh?? Are you sure? I have no recollection of this!

 

maybe it wasnt you

 

it looked like you. apologies if it wasnt. i was quite drunk.

[Hightown Phil]

It was a Birmingham fan giving it the big one to the Police Escort back to New Street wasn't it?

 

I saw it as well, and it's up there with anything I've ever seen.

[anny road]

  Gunga Din said:

maybe it wasnt you

 

it looked like you. apologies if it wasnt. i was quite drunk.

 

 

someone did fall down a man hole

 

who the f*** was it?

[Gray - YPC]

  Hightown Phil said:

It was a Birmingham fan giving it the big one to the Police Escort back to New Street wasn't it?

 

I saw it as well, and it's up there with anything I've ever seen.

I dipped out the escort with Black Matty, and we ended up getting clocked and followed all the way to New Street.

 

They started closing up on us near the shops, so when we went round the corner we legged it into the shopping centre... only to find a dead end and every shop was closed! We were s***ting it thinking we were gonna get smashed, but when we came out they'd gone. They were just scaring us rather than wanting to batter us.

 

Remember hearing about that lad though... there was a special 'emoticon' (?) created by one of the Urchins too I think that they posted all over the 'Zulu' boards haha

[Andy Mac]

Quite a few years ago I came up North the visit my family and thought I’d take the opportunity to go to the Derby against Everton, only problem was I didn’t have a ticket (no change there then). Anyway, I stood outside the ground asking for spares and was quoted prices from silly to extortionate.

 

I had £30 on me, so thought, right, this looks like a no-go, I’ll have a bet and see if I can win a few quid. Went to the bookies next to Sam Dodds and wrote a bet out for £20. I went to the counter and the lady pipes up ‘I can’t take that, love it’s a dodgy £20’, I was gutted, so walked out and started heading for the car.

 

So I’m walking away from the ground and one of these 3 scallies shouts ‘Anyone wanna ticket?’, so of course, hoping against hope I ask how much? They look at each other and the hard faced one says, ‘only face value £15’. I thought aye, aye, something going on here, so I ask to look at the ticket and they flash it enough for me to catch it was the child part of an adult and child ticket. So, I weigh things up quickly and thought it was worth the risk… so I go ‘ alright then, I’ve only got a twenty pound note, so give me a fiver and I’ll take it’. They go for it, give me the ticket and the fiver change.

 

They then scarper quick as a flash with one lad turning round and screaming at me ‘ ahhhhh… it’s a kid’s ticket you fat t***’. I shouted ‘ that’s alright, d****ead, it’s a dodgy twenty….’. I don’t think he heard me, they were gone so fast’.

 

I got in, too. Although didn’t sit in the allotted seat, just in case.

Edited December 10, 2009 by Andy Mac