Football 20 years from now

[Hassony]

what do you think will change? will there be a european super league? will International football survive? will we still have transfer fees? will the the asian/ middle eastern leagues and the MLS attract more top players from europe?

[smithdown]

Maybe.

[Hassony]

thanks

 

can the mods please close this thread now

[smithdown]

On seconds thoughts, I'm not so sure.

[John am Rhein]

It'll be like the 'Rollerball' film from the 70s

[gns]

It'll be like the 'Rollerball' film from the 70s

 

Skrtel would be f***ing brilliant at Rollerball I bet.

[carrafan]

Video evidence and stuff that'll tell whether the ball has crossed into goal should be there/

[Ronnie Whelan]

Skrtel would be f***ing brilliant at Rollerball I bet.

 

 

His laser eyes would certainly be a competitive advantage.

[smithdown]

Moonbeams for goalposts

[matty]

In 2028 There are only 7 teams in Europe, all playing each other in different cities around the world every week. These teams are Twente Enschede, Valerenga, Sporting Gijon, Andorra, Bodrum FC, Wigan Athletic, and Europe United. Europe United are the nationalised club of the European Union, and the others are the only surviving privately owned clubs, due to the fact that they were the ones who forgot to sell themselves to Arabs. This turned out to be a good thing, as due to the sudden invention of the citrus car in 2025, petrol was no longer worth anything, and the prosperity of the Arabs evaporated, sending all the other clubs into meltdown, and forcing an internationally-agreed bailout of football. Although Europe Unted suddenly had a very strong squad of 23,426 players, many of those got fed up with the lack of first team opportunities and went off to join other clubs. Bodrum FC, going from a Turkish 3rd division club to a 157,000 seat stadium in a matter of months, and offering the best weather of the surviving clubs, are the current World Champions.

 

Uefa are still useless c****, despite only having 7 clubs to regulate.

[Jacks Jackie Jackson]

People on the son of this forum will be going postal over our draw against Colchester United while others will be appealing for calm saying they are the new powerhouse in the south now and if we are patient just one more season, we'll deffo bring home number 19 then.

[MarkD]

The Daily Planet - October 2028 - Soccer News;

 

 

 

UEFA Spokesman William Gaillard still refuses to consider bail for anybody connected to the former UK-based soccer team, The Liverpool Reds.

Speaking today from behind a buffet, Gaillaid pointed to a crimesheet consisting of being overly successful and not being part of Platini's gang as the reasons to keep said LFC players and officials in prison on the moon. Gaillard confirmed that UEFA had received a strongly worded letter from a Mr. Parry today despite Mr Parry having died in 2012 from injuries involving a fax machine.

 

 

Having widened the goals, reduced the size of the balls and banned goalkeepers to ensure that plenty of goals are scored in all games, FIFA today announced their latest plan to ensure that their customers go home satisifed after every game. They will announce the score before the game with all games guaranteed goals and home wins. Sky confirmed they will be heavily involved in the allocating of said goals.

 

Professor Tom Cannon, of Kingston Business School, today re-iterated his desire for the long since defunct People's Club of Liverpool, Merseyside to be recognised as the most successful and rich club in the galaxy. Speaking at an intergalactical conference attended by useless people used by Sky TV in the last two decades, Cannon opened his speech as follows; "IFithadntbeenfor ....."

 

Plus ca change...

Edited October 14, 2008 by MarkD

[Chili Palmer]

Man Utd win a dubious penalty decision.

 

 

some things will never change.

[smithdown]

Everyone - players, refs, managers and supporterers - will use jet-packs, isn't it?

[kozma]

There will be running and kicking and much celebration.

 

Football related internet forums will be used to discuss biscuits and share holograms of half-naked ladies.

[Falconhoof]

All games will be played infront of a crowned, bejewelled His excellency Jamie Redknapp Sultan of Sky and Emperor of football. After the match he will sit on his throne and decide the rightful outcome of the game. The losing captain will have to wrestle a naked hairy and oiled Richard Keyesebeast.

[stressederic]

It'll be played in zero gravity on the darkside of the moon.

 

Richard Keys will comment, every week, at length about the moon's rotation.

[smithdown]

Instead of eleven players on each team, there will just be one great big huge player the size of a house and they will be tasked with singing a Michael Bolton song in front of a panel of no-marks with shaven heads and swastika tattoos.

 

Supporters will transmit their thoughts and kneejerk reactions via Telepathic Hormonal Reactive Osmosis Bubbles or throbs, which will be charged at one Blairo per nanominute as well as standard charges that may apply.

 

The winner will be the first one to cry.

[Sion]

Instead of eleven players on each team, there will just be one great big huge player the size of a house and they will be tasked with singing a Michael Bolton song in front of a panel of no-marks with shaven heads and swastika tattoos.

 

Supporters will transmit their thoughts and kneejerk reactions via Telepathic Hormonal Reactive Osmosis Bubbles or throbs, which will be charged at one Blairo per nanominute as well as standard charges that may apply.

 

The winner will be the first one to cry.

 

How good would fat people football be to watch

Minimum weight of 20 stone to play

I'd pay to watch that

[Des]

How good would fat people football be to watch

 

Rugby union? Not that good.

[cymrococh]

Terry Venables has already done this in his seminal sci-fi sports opera 'They used to play on grass'.

 

100 man-sized men will play against 1 100-man-sized man.

Edited October 14, 2008 by Paul Caruso

[Ostrich Man]

Rugby union? Not that good.

 

[floyd]

Stem cell research, will allow Wegner to play a team of 3 month old children, stolen from Burkina Faso.

[Jacks Jackie Jackson]

On reflection, I'd like to change my original suggestion as I had a dream about this very thing last night.

In it, all the teams in the league came to wembley stadium and had four minutes to impress a panel of judges that comprised Sir Simon Cowell and his lady wife Lady Holly Cowell, Keet from Boyzone and Dame Kerry Catona. They had to perform keepy-uppies one week, one-one-ones with the keeper from 20 yards out the next, hitting the crossbar from the half-way line the next with of course one team being voted out each week until only Manchester United were left standing. Then they went on a world tour. Strangely, everyone seemed happy about this because they'd impregnated all our ID cards with LSD which you could absorb through your skin by simply rubbing with your thumb. It was very good.

[Duncan Disorderly]

This thread is surreal genius.

 

2028 - Soccerball Final, Eurafricasia V AAACon (Americas/Australasia/Antarctica Convict Colony)

 

Manager of Eurafricasia, Emperor Alexander Ferguson; recently revived from cryogenic suspension after chronic liver failure; lambasts the use of orbiting third-eye referees monitored by, the equally cryogenically revived, Sepp Blatter from his Soccerball control-room, a mile deep under the surface of Mars, as inconsistent with his view of events supplied by telepathic pulses sent to his lair in the Marianas Trench by his mini-clones, which are situated within the corneas of all his players, during a game they lost by 3-14 to 1-12.