Fernando Torres is so good that

[sutty]

1. His poo is pure white and has no smell.

2. He ejaculates rainbows

3. When he blinks, he brings one of those african kids to life that the finger clicking celebrities have killed

[Falconhoof]

I don't know what to make of that kind of poo and ejaculation talk.

Is that what made this forum what it is today ?

[RedHarvest]

His farts are a cure for cancer

[The_Adder]

1. His poo is pure white and has no smell.

2. He ejaculates rainbows

3. When he blinks, he brings one of those african kids to life that the finger clicking celebrities have killed

 

1)

2)

3)

[McBain]

I'm considering cheating on Xabi

[Rory Fitzgerald]

1. His poo is pure white and has no smell.

2. He ejaculates rainbows

3. When he blinks, he brings one of those african kids to life that the finger clicking celebrities have killed

 

I heard Rio has developed an acute bout of diarrhea - I suppose Torres is the cause of that as well !

[honourablegeorge]

Torres sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him.

[JohnnyH]

Torres sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him.

 

He doesn't sleep; he waits.

[sutty]

He goes out in the rain and doesn't get wet as the water avoids him as a mark of respect.

[Smith]

...he turns straight men into poofs. Apparently.

Edited December 3, 2007 by Joe Wilson

[sutty]

Torres' home is full of appliances that place no ldemand on the national grid. They are powered by the electricity that is felt in His presence

[Spike]

he's so good that all deities worship him

[JohnnyH]

Torres can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[honourablegeorge]

...he turns straight men into poofs. Apparently.

 

 

I'd kick Xabi out of bed for him.

 

 

Rewatching that goal from Sunday - it's a beautiful finish. Great to see that his finishing, the one major question mark that most people placed over his head (myself included) seems to have improved hugely. Maybe down to the some of the pressure he was under at Athletico being lifted.

[Rory Fitzgerald]

Legend has it that his tears can cure leprosy, but as yet, no one has seen him cry !

[JohnnyH]

Also better players giving him better ammunition. That pass from Gerrard was inch perfect and allowed him to pick it up with out breaking pace and flick it over the keeper. Two of the Worlds great players in perfect unison.

[RP]

Torres can make women climax just by pointing at them.

[RP]

The second pope actually went through the bible before it was mass produced and replaced the name "Fernando Torres" with "God".

[sutty]

Torres can make women climax just by pointing at them.

 

He can impregnate them simply by nodding and crinkling his nose. The children are all beautiful.

[Bailo]

Torres doesn't go to the toilet; the toilet comes to him.

[The_Adder]

Torres can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Funniest thread in months.

[sutty]

You are advised not to look directly at Fernando Torres - he exudes a pure light.

[RP]

Fernando Torres can count to infinity.

 

Twice.

 

 

Fernando Torres built Rome.

 

In 1 day.

[RP]

The earth is round, because Fernando Torres wishes it to be so.

 

 

All of the DNA of all of the living creatures on earth can be traced back to Fernando Torres.

 

 

Fernando Torres is so good he can believe it is not butter.

Edited December 3, 2007 by RP

[MFletcher]

Roy of the Rovers reads Fernando Torres comics.