Investment news from Rawk

[Armin_Tamzarian]

Occasionally Rawk gets contacts from the press. Most of the time it's the usual begging letter from national sportswriters asking how many L's in Benitez or what shape is a football etc. However occasionally we get to hear from journalists who don't normally cover the world of LFC. The email below was received yesterday and was so significant that we've decided to publish it, to respect the confidence of the journalist concerned we've witheld his name.

 

 

WAXWORK NEWS (INCORPORATING WAXIFORM SIMULACRUM MONTHLY)

 

Content Embargoed as per agreement with Madame Tussaud's.

 

TUSSAUDS APLAUDS, ANSARI HAD ANSWER TO DUMMY DEFICIT.

 

When Dubai International Capital acquired the prestigious 'Tussauds Group' there was much talk of how they would overcome the difficulties posed by the rising cost of raw materials in the waxwork industry. As regular readers of this column will appreciate Tussauds were struggling to finance the manufacture of the latest celebrities leading to the unfortunate incident where a recycled 'Fern Britton' waxwork was revealed to be composed of Rusty Lee's chest and Christopher Biggins buttocks. For a high profile operation such as Tussauds such coverage can be highly damaging and it was clear that any new owner would have to ensure new supplies were secured if the business were to prosper.

 

DIC have long been known as shrewd investors but even seasoned industry watchers have been impressed by the coup they announced last week when their interest in purchasing Premier League Football Club, Liverpool FC was revealed. At a stroke it appears Sameer al-Ansari, the innovative head of DIC has solved the supply difficulties which plagued Tussauds previous management.

 

Industry analyst Guy Matthews explained how the deal will work:

 

'Ansari knew that Tussauds has to have fresh supplies for the business to work. A recent visit to the home of Liverpool Football Club gave him the answers he needed. Approximately 13,000 wax dummies are located in the Main stand alone. They're not of the highest quality, we estimate about 2,400 won't pass the 15 metre believability test but even those should be suitable for use as daytime television presenters. DIC haven't begun analysing the contents of the other stands but judging by the deathly pallor, stony silence and stone like rigidity on display we can safely assume that Madame Tussauds will be able to fulfill their dummy requirements for the immediate future.'

 

Al-Ansari has so far made no comment about the deal. A smirking executive from Madame Tussauds would only confirm that they were in discussions with Earls Court and the Millennium Dome as part of 'long cherished' expansion plans.

 

When Waxwork News approached the Liverpool FC for comments concerning the links between Liverpool FC and Waxworks we were referred to their ticket office. Unfortunately we have yet to receive a response as this article goes to press.

[Guest Kev]

 

Had me going until Guy Matthews stepped in and explained.

[Knox_Harrington]

Excellent stuff.

[Tosh]

Tussauds also includes Alton Towers, Chessington and a slice of the London Eye

[Leroy]

Great

[Redkop]

Quality

[tomski]

  Redkop said:

Quality

 

Very good that.

[sammy knucklz]

[Cheesecake]

an unseasonally warm period could scuppoer their plans....