Mysteries Of The Known Universe #1

[Earl Hafler]

How in Phil Babb's name is this lad still being paid to play professional football ? Monumental errors almost every game, single handedly turning winning positions into defeat.

 

What's he on, about £40,000 a week ?

 

Scandalous.

[Stevie H]

i've never understood it. he's patently not a footballer and seems incapable of improving despite years of coaching.

[nashman]

I used to wonder that too.But when you have a manager who makes such a statement about steven Carr everything cleared up

 

Roeder added: "He's been on fire this season and in every game he has given me a performance.

 

"I bet he hasn't been in as good form as this in his career. There are a few players who have the respect of the whole dressing room here and Stephen is one of them.

 

"If he stays fit we have a heck of a player on our hands and I cannot state how important he is to us.

 

http://www.nufc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/NewsD...~910494,00.html

[Earl Hafler]

So why do managers keep selecting him ? Does he play like Beckenbauer in training but more like Jack Bauer on the pitch ?

 

He cost Newcastle £5m four years ago. I just don't understand how he is playing in the Premiership.

[Tosh]

'cording to sky to day "He's playing for his future here at Newcastle, he's in the last year of his contract"

 

Go-on Freddy, you KNOW you want to give him another one!

[CarraLegend]

It's a mystery how he's playing in the Premiership, when he's released from his contract (whenever it ends) i'd be stunned if he got a club above the likes of Gillingham, Crewe etc. He is woeful, it was 5 goals that he'd cost them this season about 3 weeks back, it's probably 7 or 8 now. He basically gives the other team a goal headstart. No awareness, cant head, no pace, the positional sense of a Sunday League player, cant tackle. He doesnt have one good attribute. He's probably delighted that he's currently playing under the worst manager in World football or he might of actually been dropped.

 

On another note, Steven Taylor looked ok about 18months or so ago (Looks pretty woeful now but still...) how embarassing and bad for morale must it be for him being behind that t*** in the pecking order? He has to go home to friends, family and say "Yes, the boss preferred Titus in defence today"

[Earl Hafler]

Well i watched the Newcastle match and if he was playing for his future he must hate playing for them - culpable for both Bolton's goals.

 

Oh and Andy Gray - say " at times " once more

[Guest Scot]

Robbie Earle, at 70mins: 'Bolton have been dominant for this second half...or at least the last 5 minutes'

[floyd]

I almost felt sorry for him last season when we cheered him on, at Anfield. Then I remebered I use to be a descent centre half, but didn't get paid £35,000 per week, so that feeling of pity returned to normality, and I also laughed at the useless cvnt (who fvckin earns £35,000 per fvckin week)

[stressederic]

And to let in El Hadji f***ing c***ing Diouf of all players!

[slapnuts]

he is totally s*** how Yaylor aint getting a game is beyond me?

 

Dyer will be back soon too

[Earl Hafler]

And to let in El Hadji f***ing c***ing Diouf of all players!

 

 

What's worse is that he leaves Diouf for the first goal and doesn't realise his mistake because minutes later he leaves him again to go for a header that wasn't his !!!

[stressederic]

What's worse is that he leaves Diouf for the first goal and doesn't realise his mistake because minutes later he leaves him again to go for a header that wasn't his !!!

 

I was round a friends house when the sports news came on;

 

News: "And today Newcastle United were beaten 2-1 at home to Bolton."

 

Me: "Ha, good old Newcastle."

 

News: "El Hadji Diouf scored both of Bolton's goals to give them the points."

 

Me: "Oh you've got to be f***ing kidding me."

 

Friends: "Problem?"

 

Me: "I can't believe that f***** scored twice."

 

Friends: "Whats wrong with him?"

 

Me: "It's complicated. I don't want to talk about it. I hate him so much..."

[Hassony]

I was round a friends house when the sports news came on;

 

News: "And today Newcastle United were beaten 2-1 at home to Bolton."

 

Me: "Ha, good old Newcastle."

 

News: "El Hadji Diouf scored both of Bolton's goals to give them the points."

 

Me: "Oh you've got to be f***ing kidding me."

 

Friends: "Problem?"

 

Me: "I can't believe that f***** scored twice."

 

Friends: "Whats wrong with him?"

 

Me: "It's complicated. I don't want to talk about it. I hate him so much..."

 

they are not football fans i take it

[stressederic]

they are not football fans i take it

 

Nope.

 

Most of my football fan friends know my deep hatred of El Hadji Diouf, and at times like to simply utter his name just to watch me go off on one.

[Sir Tokyo Sexwale]

'cording to sky to day "He's playing for his future here at Newcastle, he's in the last year of his contract"

 

Go-on Freddy, you KNOW you want to give him another one!

on an increased wage

[Koogan]

Roeder added: "He's been on fire this season and in every game he has given me a performance.

 

I bet he's referring to 'performance art'

[Kahnee]

Was talking to a Newcastle fan I know about this recently - and he's as baffled as the rest of us how Bramble gets a game every week.

 

From what I recall, Bobby Robson wanted to sign him when he was a player with promise (and he was being touted as a talent during his first year in the Prem).

Of course, Robson signed him after Bramble's second season in the Prem, which goes to show he was losing his touch even then.

[Koogan]

Was talking to a Newcastle fan I know about this recently - and he's as baffled as the rest of us how Bramble gets a game every week.

 

Maybe he is able to run very very fast

[RP]

Of course Bramble was sh** yesterday, he always is, but I was amazed at just what a poor player Carr is - I never realised he was quite that bad.

[The Hitman]

I swear Carr used to be decent,but he's so fat now it looks like he can't run anymore.

[smithdown]

 

 

Roeder added: "There are a few players who have the respect of the whole dressing room here and Stephen is one of them."

 

 

 

Now thats good management.

[Leo No.8]

The whole Bramble thing is just bizarre. I honestly don't think I've ever seen anything like it, the way he makes shocking mistakes every single week but still gets picked.

 

Maybe time traveller 'John Titor' mentioned in a thread in the general is actually 'John Titus' and keeps returning from the future to erase managers' recollections of his namesake's previous performances, replacing them with him executing Beckenbauer-esque tackles and passes.

 

That is totally honestly, the most realistic explanation I can come up with.

[AE]

The whole Bramble thing is just bizarre. I honestly don't think I've ever seen anything like it, the way he makes shocking mistakes every single week but still gets picked.

 

Maybe time traveller 'John Titor' mentioned in a thread in the general is actually 'John Titus' and keeps returning from the future to erase managers' recollections of his namesake's previous performances, replacing them with him executing Beckenbauer-esque tackles and passes.

 

That is totally honestly, the most realistic explanation I can come up with.

 

Mine would be all his Newcastle managers have been clueless gimps supported by an even bigger clueless meglomanic chairman and cheered on by the most overhyped support in British football.

 

But the time travel option has its merits

[nashman]

So why do managers keep selecting him ? Does he play like Beckenbauer in training but more like Jack Bauer on the pitch ?

 

He cost Newcastle £5m four years ago. I just don't understand how he is playing in the Premiership.

 

to be fair for the first few weeks he was up against shola with a bad hip and luque in the training sessions...I think all three of them made each other look good