Sky Sports - Back of the Net

[stressederic]

The usual suspects

Created on 6 Oct 2006

 

Back of the Net is full of the usual suspects this week, with Vladimir Romanov's outbursts and the crazy world of Romanian football now becoming a more common sight than Joey Barton's backside.

 

Our favourite chairman North of the Border has indulged himself in a bit of monkey business this week, with the former submarine conscript aiming his torpedoes of trouble firmly at his favourite enemy: journalists.

 

The Scottish Sun has been the particular subject of his ire for the most recent outburst, with Romanov even exceeding his reputation for the bizarre with a zoo-inspired rant. In fact the polemic is so perplexing that it has to be seen in its full unedited glory:

 

"I'm very glad that you finally got down from the trees and found a worthy place for yourself - a safari park," said raving mad Romanov on the Hearts official website. "It shows you have both the habits and instincts of monkeys. I'll visit the director of the safari park and ask for a personal cage for each of you. One thing is very important. First you have to pass the quarantine rules and the vet will vaccinate you against rabies. So you are not allowed to join the monkeys yet.

 

"You should notice how peaceful they are. You may affect them badly and they'll become furious. They'll start biting and drawing cartoons. I think it should be very comfortable for you to write your so-called 'reports' from your cage. It will feel like your natural habitat. Besides, the fans will be quite safe and aware from now onwards who you really are.

 

"I will bring your favourite Celtic scarves right inside the cage for you to wear. And if you behave like our monkeys Chippy, Rosie, Blossom and Pansy, I'll give each of you a banana as a reward. Also I can organise a party - like the one we had in Kaunas on the eve of the Lithuania v Scotland match - in the safari park, especially for you. There you will be able to take funny photographs of yourselves as a momento of your lucky escape from rabies."

 

Shooting yourself in the foot...

 

The inimitable Mr Romanov is a regular on these pages, but his madness has so far failed to spill over into full-blown violence. The same cannot be said for Romanian football, another Back of the Net favourite, which continues to confound with its tales of the unexpected. Recently we saw how Ovidiu Stinga had been banned for head-butting a team-mate, but Unirea Goicea star Ion Ciobanu has managed to surpass his countryman by some distance. Ciobanu has been slapped with a two year ban for his actions in a recent game, as he was substituted for being drunk on the field of play. Not content with being left to sober up on the bench the offender then tried to trip up the linesman and other players on the touchline, so far, so harmless. However, Ciobanu then produced a pistol and proceeded to threaten players, officials and spectators, rightly leading to his punishment. "There is always a black sheep," said local regional FA chairman Nicu Neagroe as he reflected on the remarkable scenes. "It is incredible how sick minds choose to take up sport and then try and denigrate it."

 

Road trip...

 

No doubt when Carlisle's fans make the pilgrimage down to Brighton on December 30 for The Cumbrians' League One clash, they will feel the round trip of over 700 miles is a pertinent reminder of their loyalty to the club. However, they will have nothing on a group of Zenit St Petersburg supporters who travelled over 9,300 miles for a recent Russian league game against Vladivostok. Even more remarkably the intrepid trio travelled by car for the ultimate road trip, although the 1986 Honda Civic did not make the return journey for obvious reasons. In a generous move though, Zenit have given the fearless fans a new Toyota Corolla in recognition of their efforts. "We were all shocked by such a nice gesture by the club, said one of the fans to the local media. "We haven't decided what to do with the car or who will own it but one thing is for sure - we'll paint it in the colours of the club, so when we'll drive it around the city all Zenit fans can easily identify it."

 

 

Posh PC...

 

New Peterborough chairman Darragh MacAnthony has revealed an unusual motivation for his purchase of the League Two club: He is a Championship Manager fan. Any Posh fans now fearing that their new chief will only bankroll deals for those players who have passing 20 and shooting 20 on his latest saved game can rest easy however, as MacAnthony has some sense of reality at least. "I work up to 18 hours a day in the overseas property business and I wanted something to give me an outlet, something away from work that I would get my teeth into," said the nine-time European Cup winner, on his PC at least. "I often play computer games to relax at the end of a busy day, and Championship Manager is one of my favourites. This is the real thing, though - you can get to The Premiership in a couple of hours on the computer, but we are talking years in reality."

 

Thrilling...

 

Fed up of finding football so easy, Ronaldinho turns his hand towards choreography and auditions for a remake of Michael Jackson's Thriller.

 

Sky Sports

 

The English game once again lagging far behind its continental equivalent...