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Posted (edited)

To prepare for his big date, a young man went up on to the roof of hisapartment building in order to get a little colour for himself. Notwantingany tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the youngman fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get sunburned on histool of the trade. Being very determined the young man decided not to misshisdate because it was with a hot blonde. So, he decided to put some lotiononhis manhood and wrapped it in gauze, feeling this should resolve hispainfulsituation. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and theyoungman treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into theliving room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man'ssunburn started acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort heasked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cold glassofmilk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experiencedimmediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he wasdoing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson immersed in aglass of milk. Baffled the blonde exclaimed, So, THAT'S how you load thosethings!

 

 

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A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularlydirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollarsfor dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead ofdinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No,I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spendall my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" theman asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead offood?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'mgoing to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you fordoing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a manlooks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

Edited by NHE

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