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chelsea response to why Liverpool won't win the title

liverbird04
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liverbird04

liverbird04

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Posted

http://www.cfcnet.co.uk/content/default.asp

 

REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL - PART ONE

 

I never thought that Chelsea could upset the bad and the ugly on Merseyside so much, but it seems that despite having no history we have managed to drive the little thieving scroats mad.

 

Take a look at the following link:

http://www.lfconline.com/news/loadroll.asp...6&id=288755

 

It?s a shining example of the many rumours doing the rounds on the net, namely that the red robbers are going to win the forthcoming Premiership. They cite 10 reasons to justify this.

 

Let?s pull them apart:

 

1. Rick Parry insightful leader: (ex-Premier chief executive, accountant and former pupil of Whitby high school ? fancy a prawn sandwich Ricky?). His inspired appointment was nicking the great Buddha, Rafa Benitez from Valencia, to build on Houiller?s legacy. After Rafa had won the title in Spain, he repeated his tactic of having no recognised strikers (Morientes, robot freak, Mellor one hit wonder etc) and ten men behind the ball. I never liked tricky Ricky and always wondered why he scarpered from the Premier to take up the Liverpool job. Perhaps the prawn sandwiches are better in the executive lounge.

 

2) Gerrard: World class player, difference between us and them, blah blah. ?Exahhhctley? as the little Scouser would say, he is Mr Liverpool. At times they are a one man team. Without him they struggle, yet Gerrard is just a big fish in a mediocre pond. The only player worthy of a berth in Chelsea?s 24 man squad. He?d be number 25, behind Lamps, Essien, Ballack, Robben and Cole.

 

3) Carragher: the heart of the defence. Don?t make me laugh! For England he showed what an ordinary one-trick pony he is. Play our Chelsea boys across the back line and they perform wherever they are played. Carragher goes to the World Cup to take penalties, comes on in the 89th minute and two minutes later knocks England out of the World Cup along with Gerraaaaad. It?s enough to put Frank off taking his penalty. Who are these people kidding???

 

4) Alonso: the best £10Mill Liverpool ever spent!! Blimey they paid that much? I thought it was Garcia, the thumb-sucking opportunist, who scores great goals by taking advantage of defensive c**k-ups to nip in and score. Alonso?s passing is a joy to behold!! Yeah right when it flies into the stand behind the intended recipient!

 

5) The marvellous spion Kop fans: The same fans that f****d it up for everybody in Europe and then over here at Hillsborough which lead to all-seater stadiums and the high ticket prices. Those same fans who teach their kids to throw rocks, coins and excrement for fun. Yeah right!!! Chels ain?t angels but there is a limit.

 

6) Brazil Left Back?s for Liverpool? They are welcome to Roberto Carlos. I?d look forward to Robben trashing him game after game.

 

7) Coaching: Ah yes the most interesting point. Apparently Rafa has the edge over other coaches, He maintains an aloof posture only speaking to the players when they need to be spoken to and only about footie. This I think will be their undoing. Gerrard nearly left because of it, Michael left after a month not knowing what was going on and I suspect players won?t go to Liverpool either because of it. So rather than the psychological approach of getting into the players heads like Fergie, Arsene and Jose, Rafa prefers the cold aloof approach. Perhaps that?s why he struggles over 38 games. Rafa is a lucky git. His team selection was all wrong for the champs final, 3-0 down, yet some dodgy refereeing saw them get back to win on cheating pens. Losing to West Ham in the FA Cup Final and somehow through luck they scrape in and win it. Hardly the invincible Liverpool of old. Rafa won?t win the Premier title - his teams are just not consistent enough.

 

8) Little and Large: the robot freak knocking down those aimless high balls for lickle Bellamy to slam into the side netting. Yeah right!! It worked for Quinny and Phillips for a while then teams worked out how to stop it and the goals dried up. I think if they get Kuyt it?ll be Kuyt and Bellamy with the freak and Fowler on the bench. That?s why we could do with adding Kuyt to the squad for additional firepower for a couple of years and then sell him on to Newcastle.

 

9) Hunger - they are starving for success: They?re gonna be f***ing anorexic after we?ve finished with them. Our boys know how to win for fun. The first year we won it we were firing on all cylinders. Last year we knew how to win by just doing enough and then we could sit back for the rest of the game and dream of going to the World Cup. Not pretty to watch but effective. This year we?ll be pretty and effective.

 

10) Wrecking ball player: Whilst acknowledging that all the best teams have one and we have Makelele (why thank you so much for that) they have wait for it?Sissoko. Sissoko! Yeah the same two-footed thug who kicks fouls and gets away with murder on the pitch. The difference is that Makelele does it by conceding the minimum number of fouls on opposing players ? even then, on replay, it?s often shown that he?s played the ball and has gotten penalised unfairly.

 

No, all in all I think its fantastic that we have got under their skin like this. I can?t wait to hang a blue banner up reminding them that this is what the Premier trophy looks like, cos they aint got a hope in hell chance of ever winning it whilst Roman and Jose are involved with our beloved Chelsea.

 

Cmon Chelsea!!!!

 

PS. Many thanks to Jamie Ellis without whom this article wouldn?t have been possible - dream on son!!

PSS The only time the Scousers will have a chance to see the Premiership trophy will be to come to the Megastore and have their photo taken with the little silver beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

bitter!

Benitez

Benitez

Posted
Posted

who's bitter? A fan of the current champions?

 

And that is all it is - a chelsea 'fan' reaction, not the clubs reaction! It's what fans do - wind each other up, pretending they know more about each others clubs to be able to write articles about rivals.

sutty

sutty

Posted
Posted

who's bitter? A fan of the current champions?

 

And that is all it is - a chelsea 'fan' reaction, not the clubs reaction! It's what fans do - wind each other up, pretending they know more about each others clubs to be able to write articles about rivals.

 

 

There's some stuff in there that is frankly bizarre

 

I know football supporters are inherently hypocritical and everything but some of that stuff is bananas.

Leo No.8

Leo No.8

Posted
Posted (edited)

I thought of any number of witty repostes to that article, (in writing terms about as intelligent as a steaming turd. Incredibly uninformed, unwitty and brainless) but in the end all I can manage is...

 

:lol:

 

PS I can't believe they actually call him 'Lamps'. That must be the gayest football nickname in the history of the game. 'Oooh Lamps you are naughty missing that penalty, whatever will we do with you...'

Edited by Leo No.8
sutty

sutty

Posted
Posted

I thought of any number of witty repostes to that article, (the writing equivalent of a steaming turd, incredibly uninformed and brainless) but in the end all I can manage is...

 

:lol:

 

PS I can't believe they actually call him 'Lamps'. That must be the gayest football nickname in the history of the game. 'Oooh Lamps you are naughty missing that penalty, whatever will we do with you...'

 

 

I loved the bit about Lampards penalty.

sutty

sutty

Posted
Posted

so Carragher showed himself up in the world cup, but Gerrard would behind Lampos in there pecking order

riiiiigggghhhhhtttt

 

What's that in english, dwarfo?

Kahnee

Kahnee

Posted
Posted

so Carragher showed himself up in the world cup, but Gerrard would behind Lampos in there pecking order

riiiiigggghhhhhtttt

 

You pissed already?

Des

Des

Posted
Posted
5) The marvellous spion Kop fans: The same fans that f****d it up for everybody in Europe and then over here at Hillsborough which lead to all-seater stadiums and the high ticket prices.

 

Oh dear.

Ostrich Man

Ostrich Man

Posted
Posted

PS I can't believe they actually call him 'Lamps'. That must be the gayest football nickname in the history of the game. 'Oooh Lamps you are naughty missing that penalty, whatever will we do with you...'

 

Bellers

 

:lol:

Leo No.8

Leo No.8

Posted
Posted

Oh dear.

 

I emailed them about that; told them the rest was low-brow but still all opinion, but the Hillsborough reference was disgusting and should be taken out...

Guest Jack Bauer

Guest Jack Bauer

Posted
Posted

Look at point 5 again and tell me it's a joke.

 

It's a joke, albeit not funny. At all.

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