Season's Awards from The Telegraph

[Lee W]

Footballer of the year

1 Wayne Rooney; 2 Steven Gerrard; 3 Thierry Henry.

 

Team of the year

(5-3-2): Given (Newcastle United); Chimbonda (Wigan Athletic), Toure (Arsenal), Terry (Chelsea), Carragher (Liverpool), Gallas (Chelsea); Gerrard (Liverpool), Carrick (Tottenham Hotspur), J Cole (Chelsea); Rooney (Manchester United), Henry (Arsenal). Subs: Lehmann (Arsenal; g), Reo-Coker (West Ham), Makelele (Chelsea), Nolan (Bolton), D Bent (Charlton).

 

Players to watch next season

1 Theo Walcott (Arsenal)

2 Giuseppe Rossi (Man United)

3 Adam Johnson (Middlesbrough)

 

Noisiest home fans

Premiership: Portsmouth

Champions League: Liverpool

International: Northern Ireland

 

Best quote

"I've just been to the Vatican in Rome. I loved that Pristine Chapel." The one and only wonderful Sir Bobby Robson.

 

 

Best tackle

Arjan de Zeeuw's determined tone-setter for the season on Frank Lampard, Wigan v Chelsea, Aug 14.

 

Most worrying sign of Premiership footballers losing touch with reality

Those players who claimed reimbursement from their club for presents bought for a visit to a children's hospital at Christmas. You know who you are.

 

Most bizarre juggling

Robbie Fowler with chewing gum during kick-in at Anfield before match v Arsenal. Fowler flicked the gum up twice with his left, volleyed it 5ft into the air and then caught it in his mouth. Don't try this at home, children.

 

Most worrying statistic

Heart problems detected in 48 of the 83 managers attending League Managers Association health screenings.

 

Premiership manager of the year

1 Jose Mourinho (Chelsea)

2 Alan Pardew (West Ham)

3 Harry Redknapp (Portsmouth)

4 Paul Jewell (Wigan Athletic)

5 Mark Hughes (Blackburn)

6 Martin Jol (Tottenham)

 

Best player's text

"Police have just found a middle-aged male England fan wandering around Belfast in bra, suspenders and high heels. Police removed his England shirt to save embarrassment to his family." Text buzzing between Northern Ireland internationals the morning after they beat England 1-0 last September.

 

Best referee

Graham Poll. He may fancy himself but Fifa and Uefa can't both be wrong.

 

Best hospitality

A night out with the doyen of World Cup chroniclers, Malcolm Brodie, Belfast (Sept 6, plus a day to recover).

 

Chairman of the year

1 Steve Gibson (Middlesbrough): business mind and a fan's heart.

2 David Moores (Liverpool): a man who cares.

3 John Wardle (Manchester City): nous and passion for the cause.

 

Best goal

1 Morten Gamst Pedersen's volley of Marco van Basten brilliance, for Blackburn v Fulham.

2 Xabi Alonso's 60-yarder for Liverpool at Luton in the third round of the FA Cup.

3 Anton Ferdinand's immaculate belter for West Ham United against Fulham.

4 William Gallas' last-minute gem for Chelsea at home to Spurs, a massive goal.

5 Thierry Henry's cool 20-yard finish from Emmanuel Adebayor's flick for Arsenal v Aston Villa.

 

Biggest frisson among receptionists

Eric Cantona, entering hotel in Covent Garden (Feb 7). A career is temporary, charisma is permanent.

 

Best PR

Wigan Athletic.

 

PR disasters of the year

1 Brian Barwick, the FA and the England managerial recruitment 'process'.

2 Joey Barton's hopelessly misguided stance in his contract talks with Manchester City.

3 Multiplex, the FA (them again), and the interminable Wembley delays.

 

Most deserving of a knighthood

Jimmy Armfield, for services to football, past and present, and for unstinting, unpublicised civic work.

 

Most deserving of a sainthood

Glenn Roeder, for dignity in the dugout, for turning Titus Bramble into a match-winner and for working with Freddy Shepherd.

 

Best business

1 Arjan de Zeeuw, Wigan's outstanding free-transfer signing from Portsmouth.

2 Richard Scudamore, Premier League's astonishing £1.7bn TV deal.

3 Darren Bent, Charlton's prolific £2.5m purchase from Ipswich.

 

Worst business

Albert Luque (Deportivo La Coruna to Newcastle United, £9m).

 

Most ambitious attempt to get a reaction off the FA (over story of Wembley sinking into a hole)

"Can we quote you as saying 'you are looking into it'?"

Answer: "NO!"

 

Non-Premiership success story

1 Reading: good players, good manager, good chairman.

2 Accrington Stanley: welcome back and don't forget the milk.

3 FC United of Manchester: big gates, big promotion.

 

Most surreal moments

1 Interviewing Wigan's rugged centre-half, Arjan de Zeeuw, in a dance studio.

2 Sven-Goran Eriksson coming down the back of delayed press bus in Baden-Baden, shouting: "I should fine you for being late. You are worse than a bunch of schoolboys."

3 John Fashanu demonstrating the art of shirt-pulling on air during a Eurosport African Cup of Nations' broadcast (my buttons nearly popped).

 

Best commentator

John Murray (Radio 5 Live).

 

Things they don't teach you at journalism school

Measuring England hotel beds at Baden-Baden to see if they were long enough for Peter Crouch. They weren't.

 

Sickest moment

Liverpool fans attacking Alan Smith's ambulance outside Anfield.

 

Politest player

Hernan Crespo, signing personalised messages to fans at Stamford Bridge on Feb 22, first checking spelling of recipient's name, before elegantly writing good luck notes.

 

Funniest exchange with hotel staff (after Champions League tie in Liverpool):

Me: "There's no lighting in my room." Concierge: "No problem, sir, you wait in the bar and we'll fix it." After five minutes, smiling concierge appears in bar: "Problem solved, sir." Me: "That was quick." Concierge: "Yes, there's no problem, I've sent housekeeping off to fetch you some candles." Me: "Bit dangerous." Concierge: "How about a torch then?"

 

Best pies

West Brom.

 

Best overseas performance

1 Arsenal at Real Madrid

2 Middlesbrough at Roma

3 FA international development team coaching and raising awareness of HIV/Aids in Mali.

 

Best sound

That great Geordie roar just before kick-off at St James' Park.

 

Best sight

1 Johan Cruyff darting effortlessly between cars while crossing Rue de Rivoli after 50th anniversary of European Footballer of the Year in Paris. The great Dutchman even sent two Peugeots the wrong way.

2 Benfica's eagle swooping on to the pitch before Manchester United game at Stadium of Light.

3 Any Teddy Sheringham pass.

 

Worst prediction back in Autumn

1 "Wigan to go down with all hands."

2 "Birmingham to push for Europe."

3 "Kieron Dyer to enjoy a memorable season."

All copyright H Winter.

 

Best John Travolta impression

Graham Poll warming up to The Jam's A Town Called Malice before Everton v Liverpool, Dec 28. Either that or the Pollster had St Vitus' Dance.

 

Advice of two halves from a cabbie

'Of course you can have a swim in the river, but be quick because the crocodiles come out at 10.' Cabbie in Bamako, Mali's capital, during FA coaching trip.

 

Lost in pronunciation

Two journalists at John Lennon Airport after Liverpool flight. Hack 1: 'What were you talking about with Steven Gerrard?' Hack 2: 'Kids.' Hack 1: 'Keats? Steven Gerrard was talking about Keats! Blimey!'

 

Best book

1 A Season on the Brink, Rafael Benitez, Liverpool and the Path to European Glory by Guillem Balague (Weidenfeld & Nicholson, £16.99);

2 The Perfect 10, Football's Dreamers, Schemers, Playmakers and Playboys by Richard Williams (Faber and Faber, £14.99);

3 Behind the Curtain - Travels in Eastern European Football by Jonathan Wilson (Orion, £16.99).

 

Players to watch long-term

Manchester United's brilliantly-coached crop of eight to 12-year-olds.

 

Fond farewells

1 Alan Shearer

2 Highbury

3 England's World Cup dream after Wayne Rooney's injury.

 

Best chant

He's big, he's red, his feet stick out the bed - Peter Crouch

The Kop

 

Best bet to be next Manchester united manager

Mark Hughes

[Cobs]

He's a smug cn*t

[Guest dannylad]

That manager list is a load of s****.

[Jiggy Hates Jazz]

He's a smug cn*t

 

[John am Rhein]

:wafc:

[Guest Joe C]

[Sickest moment

Liverpool fans attacking Alan Smith's ambulance outside Anfield.

 

[

 

f*** off Winter.

[andysama]

I like Winter. He's also a Red, isn't he?

[Benitez]

Why do 'season's awards' before the end of the season. Stoopedo.

[Awrence]

 

Most worrying sign of Premiership footballers losing touch with reality

Those players who claimed reimbursement from their club for presents bought for a visit to a children's hospital at Christmas. You know who you are.

 

 

 

 

Which team is this?

[Boca]

"FIFA and UEFA both can't be wrong."

 

Yes they f***ing can.

[Coyler]

Why do 'season's awards' before the end of the season. Stoopedo.

Absolutely.

 

There's every chance of the West Ham fans outdoing us in the ambulance-harrassing heats if Xabi goes over on his ankle again.

[jimmylibel]

I like Winter. He's also a Red, isn't he?

 

No not a red but does have a soft spot for us - thinks we're the last 'proper' football club or something like that.

 

Mind you, you wouldn't know it from that list.

[Coyler]

Mind you, you wouldn't know it from that list.

 

Footballer of the year

1 Wayne Rooney; 2 Steven Gerrard; 3 Thierry Henry.

 

Team of the year

(5-3-2): Given (Newcastle United); Chimbonda (Wigan Athletic), Toure (Arsenal), Terry (Chelsea), Carragher (Liverpool), Gallas (Chelsea); Gerrard (Liverpool), Carrick (Tottenham Hotspur), J Cole (Chelsea); Rooney (Manchester United), Henry (Arsenal). Subs: Lehmann (Arsenal; g), Reo-Coker (West Ham), Makelele (Chelsea), Nolan (Bolton), D Bent (Charlton).

 

 

Noisiest home fans

Premiership: Portsmouth

Champions League: Liverpool

International: Northern Ireland

 

Most bizarre juggling

Robbie Fowler with chewing gum during kick-in at Anfield before match v Arsenal. Fowler flicked the gum up twice with his left, volleyed it 5ft into the air and then caught it in his mouth. Don't try this at home, children.

 

Chairman of the year

1 Steve Gibson (Middlesbrough): business mind and a fan's heart.

2 David Moores (Liverpool): a man who cares.

3 John Wardle (Manchester City): nous and passion for the cause.

 

Best goal

1 Morten Gamst Pedersen's volley of Marco van Basten brilliance, for Blackburn v Fulham.

2 Xabi Alonso's 60-yarder for Liverpool at Luton in the third round of the FA Cup.

3 Anton Ferdinand's immaculate belter for West Ham United against Fulham.

4 William Gallas' last-minute gem for Chelsea at home to Spurs, a massive goal.

5 Thierry Henry's cool 20-yard finish from Emmanuel Adebayor's flick for Arsenal v Aston Villa.

 

Sickest moment

Liverpool fans attacking Alan Smith's ambulance outside Anfield.

 

 

Funniest exchange with hotel staff (after Champions League tie in Liverpool):

Me: "There's no lighting in my room." Concierge: "No problem, sir, you wait in the bar and we'll fix it." After five minutes, smiling concierge appears in bar: "Problem solved, sir." Me: "That was quick." Concierge: "Yes, there's no problem, I've sent housekeeping off to fetch you some candles." Me: "Bit dangerous." Concierge: "How about a torch then?"

 

 

Best John Travolta impression

Graham Poll warming up to The Jam's A Town Called Malice before Everton v Liverpool, Dec 28. Either that or the Pollster had St Vitus' Dance.

 

Lost in pronunciation

Two journalists at John Lennon Airport after Liverpool flight. Hack 1: 'What were you talking about with Steven Gerrard?' Hack 2: 'Kids.' Hack 1: 'Keats? Steven Gerrard was talking about Keats! Blimey!'

 

Best book

1 A Season on the Brink, Rafael Benitez, Liverpool and the Path to European Glory by Guillem Balague (Weidenfeld & Nicholson, £16.99);

2 The Perfect 10, Football's Dreamers, Schemers, Playmakers and Playboys by Richard Williams (Faber and Faber, £14.99);

3 Behind the Curtain - Travels in Eastern European Football by Jonathan Wilson (Orion, £16.99).

 

Best chant

He's big, he's red, his feet stick out the bed - Peter Crouch

The Kop

I demand that he remove that chip from his shoulder forthwith.

 

Twelve nice mentions and one bad mention.

Edited May 12, 2006 by Coyler

[Andy @ Allerton]

Winter is a bellend - and that article just confirms that fact.

[jimmylibel]

I demand that he remove that chip from his shoulder forthwith.

 

Twelve nice mentions and one bad mention.

 

 

Was more to do with the people he left out. Rafa not in the top 6 managers? Reina and Finnan left out of the team of the season?

[realtarragona]

I'd bet most non-Liverpool fans wouldn't have those two in their team.

[DanielS]

The ambulance incident is the crappest thing that happened this season. I don't know of many other incidents that can even compare to that piece of stupidity.

Edited May 12, 2006 by DanielS

[Andy @ Allerton]

The ambulance incident is the crappes thing that happened this season. I don't know of many other incidents that can even compare to that piece of stupidity.

 

 

Since you obviously know so much about this incident - perhaps you'll share it with the forum?

 

I was standing next to it outside Anfield with several other Stewards and I spoke to the guy who is in charge of them after a first aid course a couple of weeks afterwards the 'incident'.

 

I'll give you a big hint - what the media and the press reported was, as per usual, a pack of lies.

 

Perhaps you know better, however, than the people standing outside the ambulance, the people driving it and the guy in charge of filling out the report on the ambulances use afterwards?

[Gomez]

I'd bet most non-Liverpool fans wouldn't have those two in their team.

 

By definition Non-Liverpool fans are stupid.

[Coyler]

Was more to do with the people he left out. Rafa not in the top 6 managers? Reina and Finnan left out of the team of the season?

I'll give you the Rafa one. Finnan ploughs his lonely furrow and thrives on being ignored; Reina did the little our defence allowed to be asked of him brilliantly but how can you not give it to Given, who's thrust into the limelight every match he plays for that shower ? I haven't looked at the stats but I'm fairly sure Newcastle goalkeepers have been in every team of the season ever.

 

Received knowledge is that Carrick has had a great season (and bully for him), but I can't see how he's been better than a microscopically under-par Alonso, who's been engaged for the last few months along with Momo and Gerrard in bossing the feck out of all comers.

Edited May 12, 2006 by Coyler

[Benitez]

I'd bet most non-Liverpool fans wouldn't have those two in their team.

 

 

And most non Wigan fans wouldn't have Chimbonda in their teams, non Spurs fans wouldn't have Carrick, non Newcastle fans wouldn't have Given etc etc, is that what you are saying?

 

Doesn't matter does it, all about personal choice. Although a lot of it is also on hype of course.

 

With and without Red tinted specs on, I know that Reina has been far superior to Given (as have a fair few other goalies), and Finnan has been far superior to Chimbonda

[Will]

The ambulance incident is the crappest thing that happened this season. I don't know of many other incidents that can even compare to that piece of stupidity.

 

While Andy has a point, from Winter's persepctive you can hardly balme him for naming that incident...

[Coyler]

The ambulance incident is the crappest thing that happened this season.

Are you entirely sure about that?

[DanielS]

Since you obviously know so much about this incident - perhaps you'll share it with the forum?

 

I was standing next to it outside Anfield with several other Stewards and I spoke to the guy who is in charge of them after a first aid course a couple of weeks afterwards the 'incident'.

 

I'll give you a big hint - what the media and the press reported was, as per usual, a pack of lies.

 

Perhaps you know better, however, than the people standing outside the ambulance, the people driving it and the guy in charge of filling out the report on the ambulances use afterwards?

 

So the people driving it who described it as horrifying were lying? ANd the club made a statement about something that didn't happen? I suppose the s*** throwing didn't happen either?

 

While Andy has a point, from Winter's persepctive you can hardly balme him for naming that incident...

 

The facts of the incident may be up for debate, but the facts of how that story has dragged our name through the mud isn't.

Edited May 12, 2006 by DanielS

[realtarragona]

And most non Wigan fans wouldn't have Chimbonda in their teams, non Spurs fans wouldn't have Carrick, non Newcastle fans wouldn't have Given etc etc, is that what you are saying?

 

Doesn't matter does it, all about personal choice. Although a lot of it is also on hype of course.

 

I think Chimbonda would get in most teams (not mine) but apart from that, yeah. Can't really expect people to put in as many Liverpool players as we'd have, for starters we see them a lot more.

 

As for the ambulance incident, as far as I'm aware it was just a bottle thrown. Might be wrong there. But either way, Winter won't have done his own investigation so you can't be surprised at him naming it.