Tommy Cockles

It was the sole concession to my heart attack 4 years ago. Absurd really given the rest of the menu, and the preceding 6 pints of Cruzcampo. But at least I felt that I hadn’t completely lost control.

Home to some leftover Chinese, followed by 2 crumpets with marmite, and a packet of bacon crisps. All good in the moment. And very much needed. Tomorrow, maybe not so much.

It’s a hard truth. I can’t abide FSG, and words can’t express how much I love those 2 lads, but those 2 deals are like a contractual obligation to pay 2 players 60 odd million (at least) over the next 2 years at ages when pretty much all footballers drop off a cliff.

Walking away across the park after with a mate & it’s mad how many players have a question mark over them for next season, given where we are and what should happen, which literally no one thought had a chance of happening. Bit the truth is we have been fortunate with the drop off across all of our rivals, and whilst that’s not our problem, and we actually deserve it given the incredibly s***ty luck we had with City, but it won’t be like this next season and we need a lot of work even to compete IMO. I wont even entertain chat about where we might win it, so me talking about next season is nonsense but YKWIM.

Ok mate pm me your mobile

Will you be in the area on the day mate? One of ours does have form for last minute drop outs. Would say 10% Would only be 1 though, obviously.

Interesting. I thought “oooh look he’s had a bit of styling done there the soft arl b*****d” Shows how much one of us knows.

For clarity (as if anyone cares) I didn’t mean the sarcastic clapping etc I mean where he shakes his fists at the pitch. It reminded me of when Basil shakes his fist at the potted plant when the police didn’t let him give Lord Melbury a slap. “Just one…” Anyway I hope that’s cleared that up for everybody.

I enjoyed Jota going a bit Basil Fawlty when that decision went against him over by the touchline.

Thank goodness that’s over. The goal was the one real moment of quality in the game. A touch of Firmino about Diaz’s assist. Lovely jinking run from Jota, great finish as well. And Pickford going the wrong way = chef’s kiss.

Kevin Stewart. * Most famous for his role in “The Miracle of Andrew Robertson”

See. This is exactly what I’m talking about.

Torres leaving for CFC was an absolute sickener. The goal celebration when we beat CFC 1-0 just after he got subbed off on his debut will live with me forever though.

Been some shirt burning I see. Always felt that demonstrated a lack of imagination. Dissolving it in acid, lashing it in a threshing machine or burying it at sea would have more credibility in my eyes at least.

Hello mate. How are you?

Alright The Athletic.

Was he? Yeah looked more like lead boots. I remember one bustling run when he beat a couple of players, Arsenal I think, when I thought “oh hello” And that was it. Utterly abject. Man that was a bad period.

Milan Jovanovic

Oussama Assaidi

Mane was a warrior, even in games when he was off form and shinning it into the crowd he was always battling and making a nuisance of himself. I miss him loads.

Well that was rubbish wasn’t it. Everything felt flat, on and off the pitch. Didn’t even enjoy myself in the pub pre match. Our end was rubbish. Their end looked like interference on an old TV set. And now I’m really hung over. Rubbish. All of it.

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Alright Ronan Keating.

Easily the most salt and vinegary crisps available in the world. And likely other worlds too. Squares a distant 2nd.

Gary Breen is a name I have always enjoyed. So now you know.