Rusty Shackleford

We do seem to get a few deeply religious lads don’t we? I’m half expecting to see Gakpo and Alisson going door to door in my street handing out pamphlets and salvation. “Have you heard the good news?”. Yeah fellas. We won the league.

He can deservedly be called a legend for what he’s done on the pitch but am I the only one that can’t be arsed with him staying now? Very much cutting off my nose to spite my face I know but i’d just mostly feel annoyed. The advert, the daft celebrations and the cryptic social media b******s can all leave with him and I’ve accepted it. It’s not quite Antoine Griezmann levels of wanting to be the main character but this hasn’t been good either.

Remarkable achievement. Champions League qualification would have been par and that seemed like it would be in the balance with the lack of signings. What a job Slot has done.

I can’t believe this. In just a few short minutes we’ll be one game closer to never seeing Darwin Nunez again.

He was absolutely brilliant for 18 months. I remember thinking we’d be ok with losing Suarez as we still had Sturridge and Sterling. When the injuries started racking up it was like the player that returned was 5% less able each time.

He tends to arrive at the same time as the players. (edit - beaten to it)

To be fait to Nunez, he’s done an excellent job of ensuring any goal related payments haven’t had to be made.

We’ve made about a quarter of our games seem like an unnecessary slog this season. Points total is great but i’d rather like to have significantly less punch drunk halves of football if anyone is taking requests.

We just added some gold trim to Nunez’s dunce chair.

Loved them. You can get an empty pot on ebay for about £40 if you are feeling nostalgic.

It is extremely fortunate that Arsenal are hellbent on being s***e challengers because we aren’t a great football team at all. We are a good one but nowhere near as good as Jurgen’s best teams despite the points on the board. We’ll win the league but have plenty to do in the summer.

Looking at threadbare areas of the team and using it as a guide to what positions we’ll sign hasn’t been particularly reliable under FSG. I can well believe we won’t sign a midfielder. We are always players short. Even our best squads have had excellent players backed up by lads several tiers down. I’m broadly supportive of FSG but whatever ‘making do’ is in Latin should be added to the club badge.

I’m very much with Slot on the offside’ for our goal. I don’t like a rule which allows a player to affect the defender and then nip back onside. That it hurt Everton in this case is a delicious outcome though.

His pre match Edam had fermented.

Predictable script. They sit deep and we do f*** all with our possession. Couple of passes and lax defending and they are in. Crap against this lot. Again.

Elliot needs to go for his own sake. Slot said technique is not enough without the physical attributes and sadly Elliot doesn’t have them. He also said the physical attributes aren’t enough without the technique, which is why Nunez is a goner too. As well as the not kicking it the net thing. I’d hope to get £90-£100m for the pair but we are probably relying on a mad Saudi experiment on Nunez to get anywhere near it. Part ex Palace for Wharton for Elliot in a world where those things ever happen.

What’s controversial? He’s never been a good midfielder which appears to be where he really wanted to play. But he has some truly stand out parts of his game. The flip side of that coin is the lax defending which quite encouragingly can be where we look to offset what we are losing going forward. Still won’t miss him though. He has done my head in the last couple of years and that Utd performance was for the ages.

A very talented footballer but i’ll be glad to see the back of him now. Annoying he hasn’t gone for a fee but the debate around him has been draining for years really hasn’t it? Ultimately he’s a midfielder who wasn’t good enough to play midfield and instead revolutionised playmaking from right back. At the expense of being a remotely good defender though, so it’s not hard to imagine a world in which his replacement’s contribution is as good overall.

As exciting as Isak would feel he just picks up too many injuries. I’d get on board i’m sure but it feels inevitable that he’d miss 15-20% of any season. We aren’t a club that can make those sorts of mistakes. Whoever it ends up being we won’t drop massive fee plus massive wages on the same transfer. Anyone coming here will be either one but, preferably at least for our mingebag owners, neither one.

Why would we sign Alvarez? Other than us potentially having a go last summer, who says we are looking at him again. He went to a big team in a great City and for big money less than a year ago. Surely any chance to get him has now gone.

It’s hard to know what to make of the season, as mad as that sounds. It is a huge achievement if we go on to win the league, beyond any and all expectations. But it does feel like all it would have taken for us to not win the title would have been anything like the competition there has been for most of the last decade. I wouldn’t fancy us now if the gap was say, 6. Losing that final is s***e. Being made to look relatively ordinary by PSG is a bit of an eye opener too. We really need to insure Slot gets a squad of players he’s comfortable using because there are a few in there who look as if they’ve been run into the ground and others who aren’t up to it.

Another season petering out because we have a tiny squad woefully unprepared for the long haul. Absolute miracle that Slot looks like winning the league with this.

f*** off. Utter s***.

Does it really explain a side starting s***e?

Tell you what, Darwin Nunez is utterly s***e but could he be doing any worse than Jota? We need to be looking at moving him on as much as almost anyone else.