Superjay

What the f**k is going on with the commentary in this game? Zaha appears to be the next maradonna even though he's not playing and Rafa Benitez is a knob cause he's going to rotate the kid who scored for Italy. Agenda? What agenda?

Terrible shirt and shorts.... Socks are nice.

He has 2 houses over In malaga and marbella. Our wedding organiser does all his big party's. pics she showed us he still ha those s**t dreadlocks and hasn't put on all the chunk.

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His wiki profile pic looks like he has a John Hurt style alien trying to escape from him.

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Saw this picture of Samurai dated circa 1870... I was like wow... Then I was all like... HOLY S**T, El Hadji diouf is a 200 year old samurai.

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SiGn BiG HeAd Of InTeRnAl CoMmUnICaTiOnS NaMeZ

Makes me question is David James a secret bluenose... That article is that bitter.

Except for the 5-0 vs Norwich.

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Down Roy Hodgsons trousers.

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Clive tyldsley has no idea who Antonio Conte is..... Why the f**k is that c**t getting paid so much to commentate on something he has no knowledge if?

Jack Wiltshire - kronenberg. He'd be on at me all night to go somewhere with birds in and insist on going to tiger tiger. I'd tell him I'm following in and make sure the bouncer saw me have a piss in a doorway near so he wouldn't let me in. Id make out the doorman was a c**t and I'd go for a kebab. Only I run into Andy Carroll who's dragging me to tiger tiger so we can get some brooon. Thankfully the doorman recognises me and andys kicked off with Kev Nolan coming steaming in out of nowhere. I skip away and in the taxi queue I see brad friedel who tells me he's just slipped away from Clint Dempsey and Gareth Bale as they were off to tiger tiger. I'm still starvin as Wor Andys stuck me kebab in the doormans face and is getting arrested as a bit of chilli went in his eye. Brad suggests we nip in the old red cow for a veltins and a cheeky duvel. Finish the night off in a dodgy Thai restaurant drinking singha and chattin to Clint Hill who has staggered in after being in some s**te bar called panther panther where Djibs and Jack Wiltshire were losing the plot at the barman cause they only had Ernest Julio Gallow sparkling wine rather than the cristal they wanted. I spew coming out of the Thai and it tastes of lemongrass.

The amount of first world problems in that piece makes me want to smack him. Actually moaning about being late at a World Cup final and messi dribbling past 4 and scoring. You don't like it lad? Move over and let someone else have a go otherwise maybe have a look at the f**king circus you and your f**king cronies create everyday. Maybe write about the agenda driven narrative that surrounds any game at any time. What next from him? "I hate my job, pity me... The pies in the press box are a bit cold Wah Wah Wah"

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