Bald Devil

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Correct. The sooner they get knocked out the better. Put down the plastic chairs and go home you sunburnt woppas. Jokes about a war that ended 60 years ago and a World Cup that you weren't alive in are not funny. The thought of England winning it is f***in unbearable. Imagine what Euro 96 did for beauts at the game (and in general) and quadruple it.

It was disappointing. Lineker goes on about how long it's taken to meet Diego, and his first question is that old patroniser's favourite, "you had a poor upbringing, did that make you fight even harder for success?" The translation was hilarious. Gary says "Un partido de bam bam bam" with accompanying hand gestures, and the subtitles say "I was rather taken aback by the intensity of the match earlier this evening" or something like that. Soy Gary Lineker de Bay Bay Thay!

10/10 Who scored the controversial goal? a) Nobody b) The Linesman c) The Best Team Lost

Scum sports writers are always re-hashing quotes from programme notes and the Echo and claiming them as their own exclusives. The otherwise s**** football365's mediawatch page is always exposing them. But when I contacted the Press Complaints Commission about the scum repeatedly 'publishing deliberately misleading information' I was told I had to send them a paper copy even though the articles were available online, and the d****eads must have archives of every newspaper themselves. Obviously me buying the piece of s*** is out of the question, so what do you do?

Great touch for a bald man. YNWA

A mate's uncle is chairman of a non-league side and he's been talking about buying them

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