Collymore = TW*T

[Superjay]

Stan Collymore is ready to make a sensational return to football after claiming he is good enough to play in The Premiership.

 

The 35-year-old former England international has been out of the game for five-and-a-half years after leaving Real Oviedo in 2001.

 

Despite his prolonged absence, along with several personal problems he claims he has now overcome, Collymore insists he is in great shape and ready to make the most unlikely of comebacks.

 

Collymore is currently in Tenerife undergoing three weeks of intense fitness training and when he returns to England, he will set off his search for a new club in earnest.

 

"I`ve had physical tests and I`m confident I will come back faster, stronger and fitter than I ever was," Collymore told the Daily Mirror.

 

"A month from today, I guarantee I will be able to stand side by side with any striker in the country and my physique will be up there with any of them.

 

"This time, I`m not going to self-destruct. You are not going to see headlines about me being kicked out of a bar somewhere in the early hours rolling drunk.

 

"I know I can still be among the best."

 

Having taken in the World Cup as a punter rather than player, Collymore hit on the idea of making a comeback after feeling there was no-one out there in Germany to really worry him.

 

"I went to the World Cup as a punter," he said yesterday.

 

"I didn't see any players that made me think 'I can't do that'. It might sound big-headed, but I still believe that I am the best.

 

"I don't want to do this to go back and be average and potter around for Rag a*** Rovers. I wouldn't do that.

 

"I wouldn't put myself through all the work I'm doing now for that. There is no reason why I can't be back to my best. Don't forget that as a footballer, I haven't got a lot of miles on the clock.

 

"When I retired, it wasn't because I was crumbling physically like Ian Wright or Gazza.

 

"I didn't quit because I had dodgy knees or bad ankles or a chronic back problem or anything like that. I'm six foot, three inches. Take my frame and put all the muscle back on and I am a big, powerful lad."

[Kahnee]

My money would be on Reading

[fyds]

Bolton - made for each other.

[Flasher]

I think this story is hilarious, I love it. Really hope he actually comes back.

 

Out of nowhere.

 

[Cobs]

he'd have been better off trying for the celebs team in 'The Match' like Bosnich.

[Buzz]

Bet he starts somewhere like Peterborough and will either feck off as soon as a big(ger) club comes in, or, walk out because he is better than them and they don't match his ambitions.

[Kahnee]

Bet he starts somewhere like Peterborough and will either feck off as soon as a big(ger) club comes in, or, walk out because he is better than them and they don't match his ambitions.

 

Depends if there any decent dogging sites in Peterborough

[johngibo YPC]

f*** it, bring him here. Collymore and Fowler up front, that could work you know!

[Guest Jack Bauer]

I literally laughed out loud when I saw the back page of whatever newspaper it was, though I can't remember which one it was. Funny pictures as well.

[Reggie]

Probably go to LeAds United. Only team I could think of with a dog reference.

[Kahnee]

I literally laughed out loud when I saw the back page of whatever newspaper it was, though I can't remember which one it was. Funny pictures as well.

 

The Mirror

[Cobs]

Wolves ?

 

or Luton

 

so he can be at Kennelworth Road....

[Leo No.8]

Alex McLeish may be interested...

 

There's actually a bit more to that interview where he says he wants his lad, a big Liverpool fan, to watch him play.

 

I don't hate Collymore at all - I just feel sorry he's such a nutcase when he could have been such a wonderful footballer. He goes beyond acting like a t***, he's genuinely unstable and always has been.

[Billy Dane]

I hope he sorts himself out, he could have been a superstar. Not holding my breath though.

[Guest RedDwarf]

I reckon he'll go to Everton or Chelsea

[Tones]

Do feel sorry for Stan. His head has been a mess for years. Would like to see him actually make it in the premiership but i just cant see it.

[ManxRed]

Watford.

 

"This time, I`m not going to self-destruct. You are not going to see headlines about me being kicked out of a bar somewhere in the early hours rolling drunk.

 

I ran this through Babelfish, selecting the Collymore -> English option and it came back with:

 

"This time, I'm going to self destruct again. You are going to see lots of headlines about me being kicked out of bars everywhere in the early hours rolling drunk."

[Skillz]

I don't hate Collymore at all - I just feel sorry he's such a nutcase when he could have been such a wonderful footballer. He goes beyond acting like a t***, he's genuinely unstable and always has been.

 

Good call Leo. Off topic but i wish some people had a better perspective/understanding on this type of situation. I am at a loss at some of the hatred shown to Harry Kewell by some because his body has not stood up to the rigours of the game.

 

They are not machines, their human and like all of us suffer from all sorts of ailments.

[Ostrich Man]

he couldve been something else.

[Leo No.8]

Good call Leo. Off topic but i wish some people had a better perspective/understanding on this type of situation. I am at a loss at some of the hatred shown to Harry Kewell by some because his body has not stood up to the rigours of the game.

 

They are not machines, their human and like all of us suffer from all sorts of ailments.

 

Totally agree - it was always beyond me the way people turned on Kewell when he had to go off in The Champions League Final. Like he wanted to go off in the biggest game of his career? FFS, don't be so bloody ridiculous he just got injured.

 

Injuries are hugely frustrating for fans, but if there's one person who must be even more distraught when they occur, particularly in a big game like that, its the player himself.

 

For some reason the usual club morals don't seem to apply to Kewell. He suffers setback after setback, but seems to often walk alone in his adversity when others are afforded fantastic support...

[Cooldude]

Has Collymore given up on his acting career in Hollywood?

[Superjay]

Totally agree - it was always beyond me the way people turned on Kewell when he had to go off in The Champions League Final. Like he wanted to go off in the biggest game of his career? FFS, don't be so bloody ridiculous he just got injured.

 

Injuries are hugely frustrating for fans, but if there's one person who must be even more distraught when they occur, particularly in a big game like that, its the player himself.

 

For some reason the usual club morals don't seem to apply to Kewell. He suffers setback after setback, but seems to often walk alone in his adversity when others are afforded fantastic support...

 

Could have something to do with his lack of effort and finger pointing on the pitch....... :opensacanofwormssmiley:

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder if collymore will send another group text message when he comes finally. Didn't he send one to all the girls in his book from austrailia sayin "daddys home"?

Edited October 4, 2006 by Superjay

[Ostrich Man]

yeah thank f*** he chose liverpool instead of us.....

[Raj]

It was a real shame that Collymore could not live up to his potential.

I used to watch him at Southend, when he was there for 8 months. The guys was so talented, it was unbelieveable.

He used to run rings around the players at Championship level.

 

He had most of the attributes needed to be a World Class player, except the one that you need the most, which is a strong desire and focus for football. Unfortunately, his illness took its toll and he never performed consistently in the end.

[Ostrich Man]

he was a footballer earning loads of cash.

 

 

what did he have to be depressed about.

 

 

try being a bin man from bognor collymore!!!